7 Signs You Should NOT Marry Him (That Most Women Ignore)

If he does #3, get away FAST.

By Dave Willis

Everyday I hear from wives reaching out for marital advice. Very often, they’ll write me online and tell me all the things their husband is doing wrong. For the most part, these are things he has ALWAYS been doing wrong (even back before they were married), but she thought she could change him (which never works out well). There are certain things a man does during the dating phase of the relationship that show either he’s not ready for marriage or he’s not worthy of marriage. 

For those of who are not yet married OR for those who you who are raising daughters, PLEASE save yourself future heartache by NOT marrying a man who does the following things and teach your daughters not to marry a man who does these things.

You might say things like, “You don’t know him like I know him. He’s really a good person. He’ll change someday, I know it.” Don’t live in denial. I’ve seen this play out a million times. You won’t be the exception. The temporary tears of breaking up with a guy will be far easier than the permanent heartache of being married to a man who does the following things. If ANY of these things are consistently happening, DON’T MARRY HIM. Trust me.

7 reasons NOT to marry a man (in no particular order)…

1. He always sees himself as a VICTIM when things don’t go his way.

frustrated couple on couch

We all face adversity. You need a man who sees himself as an overcomer. When he gets knocked down, he brushes himself off and gets back up. He doesn’t get bitter. He doesn’t make excuses. He keeps going and the struggles make him even stronger. If your man always whines when things don’t go his way, he’s not headed anywhere in life you want to go.

2. He checks out other women or sees no problem with looking at PORN.

man checking out other woman

If your boyfriend or fiancee whips his head around at every woman wearing tight yoga pants or if he thinks porn is no big deal, DUMP HIM. If he doesn’t respect you enough to keep his eyes on you, then he won’t keep his heart with you either. He’s showing you a deep flaw in his character, and don’t marry him thinking you can change it or he’ll outgrow it.

3. He avoids RESPONSIBILITY instead of seeking it out.

couple arguing

If he’s still living in his mom’s basement with no desires to move out or if he’s more excited about playing video games than he is about building a career, you need to walk away. Responsibility is a prerequisite to manhood, and if he doesn’t want it, then he’s forfeiting the right to become a husband and father someday. Get away FAST.

4. He is DISRESPECTFUL to his elders.

Dave Willis quote davewillis.org one of the truest signs of maturity is the ability to disagree with someone while still remaining respectful

A man who doesn’t know how to GIVE respect will never be someone worthy of getting respect. If he’s always badmouthing his boss or his parents or teachers or others in his life, he’s showing you a lot more about his own character than he is about their character. He is not an honorable man and you should never marry a dishonorable or disrespectful man.

5. He is frequently angry and doesn’t control his TEMPER.

Dave Willis quote inspirational choices made in fear create regrets choices made in anger create pain choices made in love create hope

If he is a “hot head” he’s going to get himself into trouble and eventually get YOU into trouble too. If he’s quick to get angry, it’s not a sign of passionate conviction; it’s a sign of immaturity and recklessness.

6. He is LAZY and avoids work instead of taking pride in a job well done.

Dave Willis quote inspirational don't do things to be noticed or praised just do them because they are the right things to do

If he doesn’t work hard or have any desire to work hard, RUN! He should desire to be a provider; not a freeloader.

7. He doesn’t value YOUR dreams.

sad lonely woman

If his future is only about the things HE wants to do, he’s showing you that there’s really no place for you in it. If he just wants you around as a trophy, a sidekick or a secretary for his endeavors, then you should run. You need a man who will value you as a partner and not look at you as a doormat.

Please share this so we can help women not make the common mistake of marrying a man who simply isn’t ready for marriage. 

Dave Willis
Dave Willis is a pastor, husband and dad of four boys. With his wife, Ashley, Dave founded StrongerMarriages.org and the “Marriage” app as a way to encourage couples to build stronger marriages. You can connect with him on Twitter and follow his blog at Patheos.

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