“You never know what you have until it’s gone.”
I’ve heard the cliché said a million times.
But nobody has made me feel it quite like Brandon Forseth, a man who recently lost his girlfriend Ky and their unborn baby in a tragic car accident just five days before Christmas.
Brandon promised to keep the pregnancy announcement a secret until they discovered the baby’s sex at 20 weeks—but sadly, that little angel only made it to 18 weeks.
“I’m sorry I’m breaking my promise right now and telling everyone a couple weeks early, but I was so proud of you, and I want everyone to know how committed you were to this child,” he wrote.
Amidst the wave of grief that has only started to sink in, Brandon wrote a soul-wrenching letter to Ky on Facebook that has people across the world feeling the weight of his heartbreak. As he weaves through their wonderful memories and laments over the loss of their future, Brandon constructs a painfully beautiful tapestry of what it looks like to love somebody with all you have and then lose them to this broken world.
Most of all, he’s reminding us all to hug the ones we love a little tighter this Christmas and to cherish the oh-so precious time we have together because any moment could be our last.
His letter reads:
You made me promise not to announce our baby to the world until 20 weeks when we found out the sex. We were going to make a funny announcement video and share it with everyone. You were 18 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I lost you both last night. Even though I hadn’t met my baby, the amount of love and excitement I had in my heart was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Listening to its heartbeat for the first time on the ultrasound, staring at the the ultrasound pictures on my fridge in awe of the little life growing inside of you.
I couldn’t wait to be a father and I felt so blessed every day that it would grow up with you as its mother. I couldn’t help it and told multiple family members and close friends and you’d always say, “Brandon! You can never keep a secret!” and I’d just smile and say, I’m sorry, I’m just too excited. You would have been the best mom, Ky. You made me so happy, you were my future.. everything I did, as hard as I’ve worked, every decision I made had you and your happiness in mind.
I’m sorry I’m breaking my promise right now and telling everyone a couple weeks early, but I was so proud of you, and I want everyone to know how committed you were to this child, how health conscious you were, how you would go online each week and tell me things like, “Our baby is the size of grapefruit right now, or “Did you know our baby has already started to develop eyelids?!” .. I could feel the warmth and purpose our child gave you, and I knew I needed to be the best man I could possibly be for both of you, to keep you comfortable and safe. I couldn’t keep you safe last night. I should have went with you to Bend like you asked.. I shouldn’t have been too tired, and maybe things would have worked out differently. What a twisted, cruel world we live in that decides to take a clean, beautiful, innocent soul like yours away, instead of mine. I’d switch places with you in a second.
I promise to keep being the man you fell for, I promise to do something great with this life I have left, I promise to make you proud of me, I promise to never take anything for granted again, and I promise to say I love you to those I care about early and often. I wish I would have said it to you last night before you left, but in my heart, I know that you knew.
This Christmas was going to be the best ever. I’m currently staring at my first Christmas Tree I’ve had in my home in years, a tree that you and I found and cut down together. The base of the tree is filled with presents to me, from you. Beautifully wrapped and neatly stacked. There’s none under there to you because I haven’t wrapped them yet..procrastinating like always..but I want you to know that I got you a bunch of things you would have loved, Ky. I know you yell at me for trying to get you to open your gifts early because I’m so bad at keeping secrets, but I want you to know a lil early this year.. A vanity, so you finally would have a place to do your makeup instead of sharing the tiny little bathroom mirror with me in the morning, multiple books because you love to read, a soup thermos so you could pack hot lunches to your brand new pre-school teaching job in Bend that you were so excited about, that beanie from Eddie Bauer that matched your scarf perfectly, your own set of camo clothing so you could hunt with me next year and not have to borrow my xlarge coat, fuzzy socks and sweaters to keep you warm…. I can still wrap them if you want Ky.
You’d only lived with me for a short time, but my house was so full with your energy and warmth, it smells like your scentsies, my closet is filled with your clothes, your coat is hanging by the front door, and your snowboots are on the mat right where you left them before you left last night, but it feels so empty in here right now. I miss you so much, Ky. I’ve always been able to fix things and solve problems for people, but I don’t know what to do from here. I feel helpless. I’m still waiting for you to walk in the door. I love you so very much Kylee, I know you’ll be the best Mom in heaven to our little one when he/she is born in June. I wish I could see its little face just one time. I know it would have been beautiful just like its mother. Merry Christmas sugar, I promise not to open my gifts until Christmas morning.
Rest in Peace Kylee Bruce
Rest in Peace Braylee or Talon, daddy loves you so so very much.
Brandon said he merely “wrote those words just wishing somehow she would see them,” but in less than 24 hours, he can hardly believe the impact his letter has had on so many.
He shared this touching message in a follow-up post:
Less than 24 hours ago I wrote a post that has since been shared 160,000 times, people from all around the world have commented, I’ve received over 2,000 friend requests, thousands of people I’ve never met a day in my life have sent me private messages, hundreds of people from across the world who saw my post graciously donated to her GoFundMe, some even donating $1,000. This morning I shared an old video I took of Kylee and a quarter of a million people have got to hear her laugh and see her smile. You all could never know how blessed I feel for the overwhelming amount of support and I wish I could respond to each of you individually.
I wrote those words just wishing somehow she would see them, I did not anticipate the impact it would have on so many, but it just goes to show you the power of love, the power of kindness, and the power each of us have to make a positive impact on someone’s life. Kylee did that for me and now her story has impacted hundreds of thousands more. Hundreds of thousands hugged their loved ones a little tighter last night, they called their family to say I love you, and they showered her family and I with support. I’m so grateful to share her warmth and heart with you all, God knows she had plenty to go around. Her’s is a legacy of love. What a beautiful thing to be remembered by, she’d be so damn proud guys. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Since the GoFundMe page was started for Kylee’s memorial expenses, it has already exceeded its goal of $12,000. In just one day, kind strangers from around the world have donated $16,257. If you’d like to help as well, you can donate here.
Please join us in praying for Brandon and Kylee’s family as their hearts heal from this tragic loss.
And as we join friends and family with warm smiles, hot cocoa and fuzzy pajamas around the tree packed with presents this Christmas, let Brandon’s powerful words remind us that the greatest gifts we have are each other. ♥