Relationships

Dear Husband, What Was It Like Before Us?

By Brie Gowen 

Sometimes I sit comfortably at the end of the day watching you across the room. The easy silence settles between us as we relax collectively. We pick up conversation at intermittent intervals, never missing a beat even as the shared stories from our day come and go in snippets. So secure are we in one another’s company that we can even nod agreeably before the next word is spoken. And silence? Even it speaks volumes.

What was life like before us?

It’s a question I don’t like to ask, but in all truthfulness I can barely recall.

I mean, what was it like to try my hardest to say something extremely clever to make you crack a smile?

Our shared humor just flows now.

What was it like to worry I might say the wrong thing, or to worry exactly what I should say?

Now, I anticipate your reaction before it even occurs. We finish each other’s sentences for goodness sake.

But what was it like to worry about messing it all up with something as trivial as a disagreement?

I rest easy, now, knowing that your love for me is unconditional. So even when we argue it doesn’t rock our foundation.

What was it like to worry that my physical appearance needed to be perfect to keep you interested?

I love looking beautiful for you, but I also know you’ve seen me at my worst, yet you’re still attracted to me. The butterflies still fly around in our tummies at an unexpected kiss, but you see beyond my outward features to the heart inside. That’s really what turns you on.

What was it like to have no one to share my dreams with? No one to listen without judging? To counsel me with my best interest at heart?

I can’t imagine not sharing my most intimate goals and desires with you. You’re my sounding board, my other conscious, the inspiration God gave me here on earth.

What was it like to not have that one person you knew you could always count on if something unexpected or detrimental occurred?

You’re my helpmate, my partner in this crazy life. When it all seems to be spinning out of control, besides Jesus, you’re my only constant.

What was it like to not have that person to serve out of love, that person who made you realize there was more to life than self?

Loving you makes me a better person.

I hear some people yearn for excitement, for that spark and newness that comes with a relationship in the beginning. I’ve decided that spark is there all along; it just takes on a different shine. After all, what is more exciting than knowing you share a life with the person who knows you best, loves you at your worst, and is your biggest champion in life? There’s passion in knowing love is unconditional, and it’s sexy to realize your spouse would drop everything to come to your aid. It’s enticing to be able to spend time together enjoying the other person’s company without having to be someone you’re not. It’s a surge of relief to be loved for me, and to see attributes of myself that I never knew existed when I see them through my your eyes.

What was it like before us?

I don’t care to think about it. Now is us, and I can truly think of no better place to be.

Brie Gowen
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Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

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