By Brie Gowen
I thought of you today. I think of you every day actually.
Today was one of those “what in the world am I doing” days. The four year old was crying hysterically because squeezing the glue bottle was hard, and all the while I was trying to explain the difference to our first grader between two, too, and to. And as I brutally attempted another day of homeschooling our children the baby sat in my lap dropping wet cracker on my pajamas and trying to gleefully rip the pages of my lesson plans.
I wished you were there. An extra hand would have been helpful.
Later I went on a scavenger hunt for hats, gloves, and scarves, after having swept the floor a second time, that is. I pulled out mismatched, tiny mittens and a plethora of brightly-colored, girly toboggans, and I thought of you.
Wish you were here, I thought.
The girls were all excited about the Christmas parade, and I’d be taking them on my own. You’d be working, as usual, and while I knew it would be a wonderful time for the kids, I just wanted you there too. Kinda like yesterday.
Yesterday, when they saw Santa. And when the baby’s wide eyes gleamed at all the pretty lights and decorations. She squealed with glee as the carousel went round and round. I wanted you there to witness it all with me.
So many things I do while raising our children that I simply desire to share with you, but no matter how much I wish you were here, you’re just not. So, thank you.
Thank you for your sacrifice, it doesn’t go unseen. And I know that as much as I want you present, you want it even more. As much as I sometimes want an extra hand in the chaos of home, you want to be here lending one just as much.
I wish you were here, but I’m grateful you are not in a way. I know that your absence is so we can have these moments. Your hard work is so I can be involved with our children, and I never forget that fact. I wish you were here, but I know why you’re not, and I appreciate your absence. It makes every precious moment we have possible, and without you I don’t guess there’d be a “here” to wish you were at. If that makes sense.
I guess I just wanted you to know that while I miss you each and every moment you are at work, that I am truly thankful for your efforts outside of my sight. I do see them, and while I wish you were here, I know you wish you were here even more. So with that in mind, thank you. Thank you for doing what you know you must to keep this family going. Your contribution, dedication, and responsibility to us goes above and beyond.
But honey, there is nothing better than the moment you walk in that door.
I love you forever.