To My Ex-Husband’s New Wife, There’s Something You Need to Know

In an era where over 50 percent of marriages don’t make it “til death do us part,” blended families have started to become more of a rule than an exception. But just because divorce and remarriage have become more of a cultural norm, it still doesn’t make it any easier for those involved—especially when it comes to bringing a new parental figure into the picture. Beyond the jealousy that swirls around your ex-spouse falling in love with someone new often comes the jealousy of being “replaced” as a mom or dad by your ex-husband’s new wife or ex-wife’s new husband.

The Not-So-Terrible Ex-Husband’s New Wife

Candice Curry is one woman who certainly knows the struggle of welcoming an ex-husband’s new wife into the family. Like the 1998 Lee Ann Womack hit, she admittedly wanted to find a reason to despise her ex-husband’s new wife, Ashley Parish. Thoughts to the tune of “I really hate her, I’ll think of a reason later” were admittedly racing through her mind.

She wanted he ex-husband’s new wife, Ashley, to be a “mean, old hag,” but instead she was introduced to a woman who was “stunningly beautiful”—inside and out.

Amidst her internal struggles with accepting this new situation that she NEVER thought she’d be in, Candice found that God’s plans far exceeded her own. She felt her hard heart softening toward her ex-husband’s new wife.

In an open letter posted on her Women With Worth blog, Candice vulnerably penned the sweetest notes of love and appreciation for the woman that was “never part of the plan.” Her powerful message to her ex-husband’s new wife has since struck a viral chord with millions of people across the web:

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

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Women With Worth

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planning on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.