From One “Knuckle-Head” Husband to Another, Love Her Before It’s Too Late

I’m writing this letter after 32 years of experience being married to a wonderful woman. She was logical, caring and taught me a lot. I loved how devoted she was to me as her husband and our marriage.

In the beginning of our marriage I was a knuckle headed husband, to say it plainly. I didn’t know how to treat a woman, and I wasted a lot of years taking her for granted. I didn’t realize how hard she worked to raise our kids and keep a house going. I didn’t understand what a gift that was for many years.

Thankfully, God gave me an eye opener and I was able to change how I treated her. It was humbling to look back and see how I acted, but I had time to change. And I did change. I began to look around at other men, and wonder what the heck they were doing. They just didn’t get it. It’s a man thing I guess. But the first thing you have to do is pull your head out of the sand and see your wife for who she is and what she does for you—while you still have time.

Unfortunately, I ran out of time way too quickly. I finally figured out how to appreciate my wife, Janice, and then I sadly lost her to cancer. Well, let me change that. I didn’t lose her, she went home. But before she left, she showed me what love looked like.

Here are the biggest lessons I learned:

1. Regret is an awful thing.

You don’t want to look back and wish you had done things differently. I started to realize just how hard my wife worked. For one, her work was never done. While I worked shifts, she had to keep going. 24/7. I am sure you see your wives doing that too. Up all night with kids, working, cooking, giving and giving.

You are not owed this kind of special treatment. Appreciate her for what she does for you. You don’t want to look back and want to kick yourself for time wasted. And Time goes fast. Look at your wife and ask yourself if you are a husband that treats her right, so you don’t suffer regret later. You will be glad you changed because very little compares to having a close marriage. When it’s all said and done, you will want to say, “I loved you and didn’t take you for granted.”

2. It doesn’t take much to make a woman happy. It’s the little things. Wake up and be the husband she deserves.

I found that if I gave her a foot, she’d give me a mile. It’s pride that keeps a husband from giving of himself to his wife. It only hurts you both when you refuse to give. It’s the little things that matter. It’s so easy! It’s a no brainer. I want to yell at some men and say, “Wake up! Treat your wife with respect.” If they would do this, they would be amazed at how their wives would respond.