Parenting

Mom’s Viral Rant About NOT Making Kids Share Is a Must-Read for Every Parent


Photo: Alayna Kolberg, Facebook

When mom Alayna Kolberg took her son Carson to the park for a playdate, she had no idea that it would be the beginning of their viral “15 minutes of fame.” However, a rant Kolberg posted to Facebook after her son was mobbed by several kids he did not know and asked to share his toys went crazy viral.

Kolberg explains in her post (below), which has been shared over 240,000 times, that her son had brought a few toys to the park to share with a playmate. But when they arrived, his friend wasn’t there yet, and he was immediately swamped by some kids he did not know who wanted his toys.

Kolberg says she advised her overwhelmed son, “You can tell them no, Carson,” I said. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.”

Of course, her response was NOT met favorably by the other kids.

She continues, “Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, ‘He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.’

That got me some dirty looks from other parents.”

This is where Kolberg’s rant gets a little controversial—but after reading her argument, I find myself agreeing. Like most things in life, this depends upon the particular situation, but I don’t think she’s wrong in this case. She goes on:

Here is the thing though:

If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!

Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.

In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.

The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works👌

What do you think about this mom’s sharing policy? Do you tend to agree, or do you expect your kids to give up their things to be shared at all times?

Jenny Rapson
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Jenny Rapson is a wife and mom of three from Ohio and the editor of For Every Mom. You can also find her alternately griping and gushing about her kids at her own blog, Mommin' It Up. You can email her at [email protected], or follow her on Twitter.

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