Exclusive Content:

“I Whipped Around and Let That Man Have It. I Told Him Off”: Elderly Lady in Grocery Store Sticks Up for Stranger With Autism

"He took up a lot of space. Moving around us. Weaving in and out of the aisles. Some ladies were annoyed. An old man behind us snickered and under his breath said, ‘hurry up.’"

They Weren’t Allowed to Paint Jesus at a Public School, So These Kids Waited 3 Hours for a “Final Act” That Knocked the Audience...

They just raised Jesus from the dead at a public school—and it’s absolutely beautiful!

2-Yr-Old Drowns for 15 Minutes in Pool While Mom Takes a Shower—3 Months Later, She Does the Unthinkable

"She was able to break through the baby gate and make her way to the 5 degree Celsius pool. She was found without a heartbeat."

12 Honest Marriage Vows You Never Hear at a Wedding

4. I promise to love who you are today, not who I want you to be.

For the sake of your sanity and your marriage, please listen. You can’t change your spouse. You don’t have that power.

If this is your goal, two varmets will infest your relationship: bitterness and resentment.

For years, Tiffani and I tried to change each other. It wasn’t until we stopped trying to change each other and started enjoying one another that we experienced intimacy.

One of the profound mysteries of marriage is two people with different values learning to love, flourish, and celebrate one another. It’s not easy, but that’s why you must rely on God and embrace the unique values He places in every person, including your spouse.

This sounds overly simplistic because it is…just love the person in front of you. Don’t long for a “fixed” version of your spouse. Don’t hope for a day when your spouse changes. Just love the current version of your partner. Doing this will transform your marriage.

5. I promise you will never be responsible for my happiness.

Marriage isn’t a quest to find happiness or completion. God created you complete. You must learn to love yourself before trying to receive or extend love.

When another person is responsible for your happiness, you idolize that person. You obsess over everything. You check Facebook profiles, text messages, and missed calls. It’s a miserable way to live. It’s a terrible recipe for a quality relationship.

Be confident in the man or woman God created you to be. Then you will be free to love your spouse the way God intended.

6. I promise to make my expectations clear.

This was probably the greatest barrier in my marriage the first few years. Tiffani and I had expectations that influenced our decisions and shaped our understanding of marriage.

Tiffani’s expectations for me were influenced by her dad. Tiffani has an amazing dad. I respect him. I’ve learned a lot from him. But I’m not Tiffani’s dad. Likewise, my expectations for Tiffani were shaped by my mom. I have an amazing mom. But it’s unfair to expect Tiffani to respond the way my mom responded. And these unrealistic expectations created a lot of disappointments.

Your spouse should never endure disappointments as a result of ignorance. State your expectations clearly. All of them. Be thorough. What do you expect from a wife? A husband? What does marriage look like to you? What does sex look like?

If you can’t state your expectations, either because you don’t know them or you’re too shy to say them, it’s a red flag that you aren’t ready for marriage.

7. I promise to never say “I forgive you” unless I truly mean it. 

Your spouse will hurt you and vice-versa. When this happens, search your heart, seek God, and forgive your spouse the same way God forgives you.

Don’t forgive with conditions. Don’t say, “I forgive you” when you’re really storing your spouse’s mistake to use as ammo in a future argument.

Unless you forgive the way God forgives you, completely and unconditionally, a wall will grow taller and taller in your relationship. Eventually, bitterness and resentment will make intimacy impossible, and your marriage will be nothing more than two roommates living under the same roof.

Lairs Johnston
Lairs Johnstonhttp://www.faithit.com
Lairs is the chief of sinners, saved by grace, with a life that just goes to show you God can use anyone. His passions are fighting sex trafficking, talking about depression, and helping high school students have a voice. He may only be 28 and a half but he can read at a 30 year old level.

“I Whipped Around and Let That Man Have It. I Told Him Off”: Elderly Lady in Grocery Store Sticks Up for Stranger With Autism

"He took up a lot of space. Moving around us. Weaving in and out of the aisles. Some ladies were annoyed. An old man behind us snickered and under his breath said, ‘hurry up.’"

They Weren’t Allowed to Paint Jesus at a Public School, So These Kids Waited 3 Hours for a “Final Act” That Knocked the Audience...

They just raised Jesus from the dead at a public school—and it’s absolutely beautiful!

2-Yr-Old Drowns for 15 Minutes in Pool While Mom Takes a Shower—3 Months Later, She Does the Unthinkable

"She was able to break through the baby gate and make her way to the 5 degree Celsius pool. She was found without a heartbeat."