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3 Things You Can Do to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

Hey, what’s your parenting style? Mine is this crazy mixture of helicopter mom/semi-psychotic lady. I love to cuddle, read to my kids, and foster their emotional development and self-esteem by instilling a high sense of self-worth while I help gently guide them through life. I’m like a gentle parent…except when I’m a crazy, fly-off-the-handle parent. Yeah, I’m still working out all the kinks.

Here’s the thing. I yell at my kids. It’s not my goal to flip out after picking up the same crap for the tenth time in one day, but it happens. I don’t want to be a raving/raging lunatic mom, but sometimes that’s exactly what happens. Afterwards I feel like a big ole loser, and even though they were wrong, I was right, and they totally brought it on themselves, after I lose my temper and scream at my kids to stop being total slobs I feel the all too familiar mom guilt. I’ll think, how is that example leading them to Christ?

Obviously I am a work in progress, but I do see things improving as I’ve prayed and worked to be better at patience, mild temperament, and voice modulation. Here’s a few things I’ve learned.

1. Realize that kids don’t listen when you yell.

I had this all wrong. I thought that since they obviously weren’t listening that perhaps they’d hear better if I turned up the volume. Nope.

It’s like a startle reaction, and immediately you will get their attention, but about 10 seconds in your voice starts to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. So basically you end up with a loud monologue about how no one knows how to do anything but you, a sore throat, headache, and still kids who have no idea what you want from them.

I have one child that is like a spider monkey. I have to make her stop moving, look me in the eyes, and then I can give her instructions.

2. Walk in gratitude.

This has probably been the best strategy to combat anger, frustration, and the inevitable mommy-meltdown that follows. I noticed for me it was an escalating annoyance that usually led to my outburst. I would get mad about the shredded toilet paper all over the bathroom floor I just cleaned, then I would begin to “pep-talk” myself about how amazing I was at cleaning house, and subsequently how ignorant of my efforts everyone else in residence was. Before I knew it I had talked myself into feeling very put-upon. No one cares about this crap but me! Which is likely true, but how important is that crap really? Good question.

By walking in gratitude you highlight the gifts before you, and you minimize the annoyances. You don’t sweat the small stuff. You see a princess dress thrown in the floor as a symbol of the sweet pea who wears it, not just as something else to pick up. Instead of pushing your temper to the limit by talking about your contributions, you talk yourself off the ledge by counting your blessings. There’s like a whole lot. If you’re open to that it’s pretty easy to stay in the green and hold that temper in check.

3. Become a time traveler.

Say what? I’m talking about just in your mind. Take a look around and realize it won’t always be this way. Remind yourself that in the thick of battle it’s hard to see God’s glory, but it is there. It’s great to remember they’re still little, they’re still learning, and your expectations might be a little too high.

But here’s the thing. One day they’ll be all grown up. They’ll move out. It will be so quiet and clean. I hope they’ll want to come back and visit, not stay away from the crazy, screaming, cleaning lady.

Brie Gowen
Brie Gowenhttp://briegowen.com/
Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

Chip and Joanna Gaines: 11 Godly Secrets to an Epic Marriage and Family

Chip and Joanna Gaines are teaching us important lessons about marriage and family as they walk away from their HGTV show for the sake of their family.

‘My abuser is here today’: Miss Kansas Uses Interview Portion of Pageant to Call Out Abuser Before Being Crowned

Miss Kansas 2024, Alexis Smith, has captured national attention not just for her beauty and charisma, but for her bravery in addressing a deeply personal and harrowing issue: domestic abuse.

Rory Feek Remarries 8 Years After Losing Wife Joey to Cancer

It's been 8 years since Rory Feek lost his wife, best friend, and music partner Joey Feek to terminal cancer. Now he's tying the knot again, this time, with daughter Indiana by his side.