As a parent, you are in a race against the culture to establish what is “normal” in the area of sexual behaviors and attitudes. The sexual revolution has lowered the age at which children are exposed to sexual activity. Young children are shown homosexual marriages through children’s television shows. Kindergarten classes celebrate reveal parties for transgendered 5-year-olds. Parents cannot afford to wait. If the culture establishes a secular sexual ethic early on, then a biblical sexual ethic will seem odd and out of place. However, the converse is also true.
How can parents win this race? Below are nine practical ways parents can teach their children God’s design for sex and sexuality.
1. Celebrate God’s good design early and often
Parents should teach about sexuality in an appropriate manner for each stage of childhood. As soon as children begin learning about the body, parents should begin teaching why God made each body part. This creates an open dialogue about their growing and changing bodies. As you do this, be sure to use literal instead of abstract language. Call body parts what they are, and avoid terms like “the birds and the bees.” Also, remember that one “talk” is not sufficient. Keep a running dialogue for as long as they are in your home.
2. Seize every opportunity
Certain situations contribute toward serious discussions about sexuality. Tucking children into bed is a great opportunity to read books that teach God’s purposes for our bodies (e.g. Justin and Lindsey Holcomb’s “God Made All of Me”.) Driving with kids in the car provides parents a captive audience for posing thought-provoking questions. When you read a fairytale about the prince and princess getting married, ask children what they think marriage means and why God designed it. When you see an image of a person dressed immodestly in a commercial, begin a conversation about modesty and God’s good design for our bodies. Be on the lookout for opportunities to ask questions and spark conversations.
3. Create an “ask anything” culture
For some, sex or sexuality feels like a taboo topic. This is a result of the fall (Gen. 3) when Adam and Eve covered themselves in shame. Fight the tendency to ignore difficult topics and questions. Creating an “ask anything” environment when children are young will foster an open dialogue into the teenage years. Do we really want pre-teens googling terms they hear because they’re embarrassed to ask their parents? Even young children who can’t type know how to use voice assistants for internet searches. An open and “ask anything” environment helps prevent your children from turning to dangerous sources for answers.
4. Keep God’s plan at the center
Many parents give their children a list of “do’s and don’t’s” instead of focusing on God’s plan and purpose in creating us male and female. Teach your children how sex and procreation reflect God’s image in us. Teach how the complementary roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives reflect the complementarian nature of the Trinity. Without God as the centerpiece of the conversation, our children won’t grasp the reasons why homosexuality, premarital sex, pornography, and every other distortion of biblical sexuality are outside of God’s plan for our good and his glory.
5. Focus on the truth, so the lie is easily discernible