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1 ½ Years After My Wedding, I Saw Marriage Wasn’t for Me—When I Looked at my Wife, I Knew My Dad Was Right

"The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy? Then, one fateful night..."

“I Looked Over to His Side of the Bed. He Wasn’t There. I Knew He Wouldn’t Be There, But for the First Time, It...

"I looked back to the bed. Still empty. And then it happened. I fell to my knees, and then to my back. It came from up from my gut. I could almost physically feel it moving to the top of my abdomen, to my chest, into my neck and then my head. I cannot describe the pain."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."

The War Satan Waged on Your Daughter the Day She Was Born

Safe, sound. Security abounds.

Tiny fingers & toes just being formed,

Not yet to this world conformed;

A priceless gem to all who know of her coming.

Before one glance, assured her beauty’s becoming.

She feels the love radiating from outside,

Already crowned as royalty before taking a single stride

Into the dangers lurking outside in this fallen world,

The ones that tell her what it means to be a girl.

 

For what awaits after baby steps,

Is the trail that leads to brokenness;

You’ll be pretty, poised, polished, petite;

Witty, wooing, unwilling to miss a beat.

You’ll be calm, collected, courageous & smart;

Sensible, stunning, always snatching the head start.

You’ll get all the “A”s, make the winning plays,

And capture every single man’s gaze;

After all, your calling is to be an object of praise.

 

You’ll be told beauty comes from within,

Yet bombarded with the pressures of being thin.

You’ll be told your accolades don’t matter,

Yet pushed to perform to climb the corporate ladder.

You’ll be told to be yourself, void of the world.

While being molded to fit on a shelf—a droid of a girl.

Seek more, be more, do more, climb higher;

Be strong, hold high your chin, be a bold-faced liar,

As you pretend not to crumble within—perfection is dire

…But one day, of this game you’ll tire.

 

For it’s a death trap you were never designed to win,

Beautifully wrapped by Satan to hold you hostage to sin.

Once joyful, treasured, pure, fearless;

Now jaded, trapped, pained, hopeless;

Not quite the plan God had in mind for His princess,

Yet you’ll feel too far gone to change nonetheless.

But good thing your feelings don’t dictate Truth;

The blood of Christ yields transformation, despite the sins of your youth.

You’ll become completely unraveled,

As you embark upon the path less traveled.

 

Your flesh will scream as you die to your dreams

And all that you thought you were to be;

Though it’s in these moments of bleakness & unspeakable weakness

That God will show mightily your priceless uniqueness.

He’ll cast out your fears, dry all your tears, and restore your lost years,

Of fruitlessly striving to please & suffocating in devil-devised disease;

For you are made strongest when He brings you to your knees.

You may bend and nearly break;

And yeah, it’ll feel like more than you can take.

 

Just know that through all the burdens you bear,

Your Savior is always right there;

Step by step, day by day,

Just waiting for you to cast your troubles away;

For He already bore your turmoil, your sin, your guilt,

Through His scars, your eternal residence in heaven was built.

Special seats have been reserved

For the mercifully chosen—not the deserved.

So all of your life as you’ve strived to be tough,

He’s been trying to tell you, “Daughter, you are ENOUGH.”

 

These are all the things she wishes she knew

…Before her little life came unglued.

It all seemed so much simpler when she had little fingers & little toes;

When she had someone to catch her fall where ever she goes.

Little did she know, she’s had that luxury all along;

She was never made to be so strong;

For the loving security she experienced in the womb,

Was made everlasting when Jesus conquered the tomb.

So mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most foolish of them all?

Oh Lord, if that raw reflection of regret—if she only knew

…Perhaps she wouldn’t have sought me instead of You.

Kelsey Straeter
Kelsey Straeter
Kelsey is an editor at Outreach. She’s passionate about fear fighting, freedom writing, and the pursuit of excellence in the name of crucifying perfectionism. Glitter is her favorite color, 2nd only to pink, and 3rd only to pink glitter.

1 ½ Years After My Wedding, I Saw Marriage Wasn’t for Me—When I Looked at my Wife, I Knew My Dad Was Right

"The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy? Then, one fateful night..."

“I Looked Over to His Side of the Bed. He Wasn’t There. I Knew He Wouldn’t Be There, But for the First Time, It...

"I looked back to the bed. Still empty. And then it happened. I fell to my knees, and then to my back. It came from up from my gut. I could almost physically feel it moving to the top of my abdomen, to my chest, into my neck and then my head. I cannot describe the pain."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."