Yeah, she seemed really nice about it, but what will she be saying behind my back? She must think I’m a loser.
My mind wandered. And when I say wandered, I mean really wandered. Like, past the confines of typical, logical thought. That was pretty much how my mind functioned, especially when it came to human interaction. I’m what you might wanna call a weirdo, or a socially-handicapped woman when it comes to relationships, especially with other women. I was the girl in high school who had a lot of guy friends, and worse, that awkward junior high kid who played with frogs and Barbies while their peers moved on to boys and blue eye shadow. I really held onto the Barbie dream house for far too long. Actually wish I had kept that thing. But I digress.
Point is, I didn’t grow out of a lot of my awkwardness. I just carried it onward to adulthood. I was the lady sitting beside the group of cool moms at the ballgame trying to think of something clever to add to the conversation.
Maybe just be really nice, Brie. That should work.
“Hi. How are you today?” I ask cheerfully to the nearest mom.
A very pregnant her replies, “I’m so hot. I’m ready to have this baby already!”
“Me too!!” I reply too eagerly, a huge grin plastered across my face.
You’re not pregnant, moron! I chastise myself, but quickly go over how to save the conversation in my head. Yes that sounds good, Brie.
Oh, she’s already turned around talking to that other woman.
Is that other woman looking at me?
I’ll bet she told her what a social idiot I am.
Plus I’m wearing my shirt from college. That was twenty years ago. Maybe they’ll think it’s vintage chic. I mean, except for the boogers.
Just smile!
Oh God, they’re laughing now.
Yeah, that’s me.