A few years ago, I was convinced that if I had these things, I’d be happy in life:
1. A good guy
2. A house
3. A job I liked
4. A dog (and eventually kids).
I thought that if I had the things listed, I’d be set.
I have those things now.
Do they bring happiness to my life? Absolutely.
Do I love these blessings? With my whole heart.
But do they make me WHOLE? Meet every need in every corner of my soul like I was so convinced they would?
Not in the slightest.
There have been more times than I can count that I’ve been completely frustrated because those things simply cannot make me whole like I thought they could.
See, I’ve learned that even when we have some of the most desired things in life, they don’t complete us. So often we think that those things–the good job, the nice guy, or the cute house–are the answer to our deepest loneliness, insecurities, and fears.
But I was wrong. And if your greatest desires are some of those things, you’re wrong, too.
Again, they are good things, wonderful things. But they are not my God. They don’t make Jordan Lee who she is. They aren’t the source of my joy like I always thought they could be. In fact, they can be both the source of my laughter and of my lamenting. They can bring me moments of great joy and moments of deep frustration.
And I’ve found, in the strangest yet most wonderful of ways, that the moments I feel most whole are moments like these:
- When I talked to the man with a cart, standing in the pouring rain, and get him a hotel room for the night so he has a warm place to sleep.
- When I stay up past midnight listening to a friend share their heart.
- When I scrub junk off of frying pans because I hate doing dishes but there’s something sanctifying about sacrifice.
Funny how that works.