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Confessions of a Praying Wife

This morning as I drove to work I prayed for my husband. The Lord brought specific things to my mind to pray for him, and as I intervened for my spouse in intercession it occurred to me that I had not always prayed for him this way. I’ve always been a praying wife, but how I pray has changed.

I thought back to about five years ago, and as I did my heart was broken. I was filled with guilt over how I had thought of and supported my spouse. On the outside, I’m sure I appeared like the perfect helpmate, but in my heart I know that wasn’t true. I had not championed for my husband to be who God intended him to be. I had rallied for who I wanted him to be.

Looking back, it causes me to wince, and it fills me with shame to speak so honestly about my inner thoughts. But perhaps by sharing my story with you, I can help you be a selfless, praying partner, unlike the one I feel I was back then.

As it was our life was wonderful. We were growing a family, and a happy one at that. We lived in a small, humble home, and we enjoyed time together as a family. It was around this time that my husband was offered an opportunity, and he brought it to me first with the request that I would join him in prayer for deciding the next step.

At the time my husband worked as the main cook for a local pizza restaurant. He had been doing this since we first got married, and although his paycheck wasn’t huge, it was enough to feed our needs and bellies. What he was offered, though, was an opportunity to purchase the store and become the owner!

I can’t explain how I reacted when he brought this to me, but I think you could guess. I was elated! You see, I really wanted something more for him, but also something more for me. It wasn’t that I was ashamed for what my husband did, but I always felt he could do better. And perhaps, if I’m really digging deep, there was a part of me that was bothered by it. I mean, other women’s husbands had jobs other than food service. It was a job you typically got as a teenager, not one you held as an adult. They didn’t even offer insurance or benefits. If someone asked what he did, I made sure and used the word “chef.” It hurts my heart to display my pride and selfishness so openly, but I was worried what others thought. I was. I was proud of my husband for the man he was, but I wanted others to be proud of him too. He had a huge heart, but people on the outside couldn’t see that. They only saw the labels used for how he provided for his family. So, it sounded good to me to be able to say, “my husband owns a restaurant,” rather than to say, “he cooks at a pizza place.”

Brie Gowen
Brie Gowenhttp://briegowen.com/
Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

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