While we all know that the commercialized, material-obsessed version of Christmas we see today is nothing like the heart of the sacred holiday God intended, nobody keeps it real quite like No Idea What I’m Doing daddy blogger Clint Edwards.
In a hilarious Facebook rant, the dad and author of I’m Sorry…Love, Your Husband, decided to relay the ridiculous (and totally hysterical) list of Christmas presents his children asked for this year.
After a classy taco date night with his wife, Clint went shopping for his kids all while offering a few “thoughts, observations, and exaggerations” on toy shopping in today’s era… and along with the rest of the Internet, its painfully accurate representation is likely to leave you in STITCHES.
Check it out below!
“After spending $13 on low brow tacos my wife and I went Christmas shopping for our kids. This was our date for the month. This is parenthood. Sexy… I know. Here are a few thoughts, observations, and exaggerations on shopping for toys in 2018.
My son asked for a shirt with a cat in space shooting lightning from its paws while eating a pizza and I actually scratched a hole in my head trying to understand.
A surprising amount of toys this year have to do with poop and farts. What a time to be alive.
Thanks YouTube for making everything come in a magic egg.
Our son’s wish list added up to just over $5k and I’ve never wanted to make someone live on the streets until now.
Play-doh was on everyone’s list and we won’t be getting any of it because I’d rather slam my head in a car door.
Our daughters asked for a Barbie dream house to share so they can fight over a pretend house inside our real house.
I didn’t think my 11yo could possibly get lazier and then boom! He asked for a hoverboard.
As if having real pets wasn’t enough my [daughters] asked for a stuffed dog that licks and twerks along with a walking unicorn who declares her love. Christmas morning’s going to be like Narnia meets Miley Cyrus.
$60? Seriously? Not today, LOL Surprise!
Our middle daughter asked for a bath bomb maker, a child-sized foot massager, and a children’s press on nail kit. Turns out I’m raising Paris Hilton.
We finally wilted down their lists to something they need, want, and can read. Bring on the tears.
God bless America.
Happy holidays”
**This Facebook post originally appeared on No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog. Check out more from Clint Edwards on his Facebook page, and buy his new book I’m Sorry… Love, Your Husband now available on Amazon!