“My Daughter Changed Her Profile Picture. ‘I Didn’t Know She Was Dating a Black Boy, Did You?’”: Mom Pens Powerful Response to Racist Comment

black boy

Heather Boyer was taken aback when she received a text regarding the color of her daughter’s boyfriend’s skin. Shortly after her daughter changed her profile picture, the mother saw a message roll in saying, “I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?”

Reflecting on all of the admirable qualities that this young man had that went so much further than skin deep, Heather was at a loss for words for the better part of the day.

Though she never ended up responding personally to that unexpected text, Heather decided to reply publicly on Facebook in order to set the record straight about the boy’s character that couldn’t be defined by pigment. Her poignant message has since spread like wildfire, amassing nearly 300,000 shares.

Read it below:

“Today my daughter changed her profile picture. After maybe 5 minutes I get a text …’I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?’

It took me all day to think up a response, which I didn’t send personally but thought I would share for anyone else that ‘may not know.’

Yes in fact I did know, but the color of his skin doesn’t define who he is. What does define who is he is how he treats my daughter.

I see my daughter dating a boy that comes to my house and shows me nothing but respect (a big deal in my book). It’s always Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, we talk about football and baseball, he tells me bye when he leaves, and has not once shown me a lack of manners or respect.

I see my daughter dating a boy who treats her good. He takes her on dates, to ballgames, out to eatnot to a club or partying on the weekends.


I see my daughter dating a boy who takes her to church with him. Every Sunday. He plays in the band, she sits with his family. How many young men these days make church a priority? None of the others have.

He doesn’t hit her, cuss her, lie to her, or make her cry. Would I rather her date a white boy that did, to keep from her dating another race? Absolutely not.

So that’s my response to the question I was asked. And I know people have their own opinion, but at the end of the day, the fact that my daughter has someone that loves her and treats her like a queen makes me happy. That’s something I’ve never had in my life and I’m glad she does.”

If Heather’s words resonated and inspired you too, be sure to share them with your friends on Facebook! 

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Kelsey Straeter
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Kelsey is an editor at Outreach. She’s passionate about fear fighting, freedom writing, and the pursuit of excellence in the name of crucifying perfectionism. Glitter is her favorite color, 2nd only to pink, and 3rd only to pink glitter.