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Christian Author Jen Hatmaker Files for Divorce, Says “I Am Shocked & Brokenhearted”

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49ers Rookie Ricky Pearsall Survives Chest Gunshot, Mom Thanks God for ‘Shielding’ Her Son

Ricky Pearsall was shot in the chest during an attempted robbery. His mom took to Facebook with an update and to plead with friends and family to pray for her "baby boy."

Dear Husband, I Loved You First

I remember you picking me up for our first date. I spent a whole hour getting ready for you. Making sure every hair was in place and my makeup was perfect. When you see me now at the end of the day, the make-up that is left on my face is smeared. My hair is more than likely in a ponytail or some rat’s nest on the top of my head. And my outfit, 100 percent has someone’s bodily fluids smeared somewhere.

But there were days when we would lay in bed and binge watch Netflix. They were my favorite. The thought of being with you for the whole weekend got me through the week. We’d run down the street to our favorite Mexican place, eat until we were stuffed, grab some ice cream, and watch “Chuck” until we fell asleep. We’d laugh until we cried. And we wouldn’t wake up the next morning until we felt like it.

Remember all those Saturday’s we’d hop in the car and drive? Anywhere. Or we’d call up a few friends and ask them to meet us downtown in like [30] minutes? We didn’t have to be home at a certain time. If we stayed out late, it was fine because we could take a nap the next day. We went on lots of adventures, didn’t we?

And you got all of me. The very best parts.

Our life looks so much different now. It’s all we’ve ever wanted.

 

But you get the last of me.

When you get home, I’ve had as many toddler tantrums as I can possibly take. The baby is on my hip or reaching up for me or following me around. Dinner is always on the stove and I’m doing a hundred things at one time to make sure everyone’s blood sugar doesn’t drop before they grow three heads. The house is normally a mess. Toys are scattered everywhere. I yell over the whining baby and the noisy TV something about your day. You sit down and say, “I’ll tell you later.” Or you start to tell me and we get interrupted a thousand times because someone needs me or one of us have to intervene before they try to kill each other.

Finally, after we battle bath time, toothbrush tantrums, and ALL.THE.STALLING for bedtime, we are finally alone. And I get to look into your sweet face for the first time that day. You’re like a breath of fresh air, still. And gah, you’re so handsome.

Our days are now scheduled. There is no picking-up-going-there last minute. That doesn’t work with two toddlers. When we do go on dates, much-needed dates, we’re always watching the clock making sure we fit everything in before the babysitter needs to leave. Those moments with you are precious and they go by way too fast. There isn’t much binge-watching Netflix anymore. It happens, but we normally both are asleep after two episodes. And sleep in? Bahaha. Funny.

But this life, these babies, they are all we’ve ever wanted. It might be messy and crazy, but it’s the beautiful kind. All the “freedoms” of our past are now met with sloppy kisses and Sofia the First. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know you wouldn’t either.

 

But I want you to know, Honey, that I loved you first.

Jessica Satterfield
Jessica Satterfield
Jessica has seen the goodness of God in the midst of the heartbreak of infertility and the joys of adoption. Her life has been one with lots of hard, but it’s in the invitation found in the hard, where she has found deep intimacy with the Father. She is an adoption advocate and passionate about encouraging other moms throughout their journeys of motherhood. She is a stay at home mama by day and writer/blogger by night. She lives in South Carolina with her life crush, Brandon, and their two heart grown children, Selah and Micah. She adores the Lord with other women through her online community and Bibles studies held in her home. Jessica’s writing was published in Adopted for Daily Life: A Devotional for Adopting Moms. She speaks to women about the faithfulness of the Father in her story, but how it can also be found in theirs. She is a contributor for an online community of mamas at motherhoodinspired.com. She would love for you to follow along in her journey at www.gracewhilewewait.com or on Instagram.

Christian Author Jen Hatmaker Files for Divorce, Says “I Am Shocked & Brokenhearted”

"I don’t know how to say this, and I still cannot believe I am even saying it, but Brandon and I are getting divorced." Christian author and speaker Jen Hatmaker shares her heart amidst divorce.

9 Quotes About Forgiveness That Will Transform Your Heart

Take the first step with these 9 transformative quotes about forgiveness that can help heal your heart, release resentment, and embrace peace and compassion.

49ers Rookie Ricky Pearsall Survives Chest Gunshot, Mom Thanks God for ‘Shielding’ Her Son

Ricky Pearsall was shot in the chest during an attempted robbery. His mom took to Facebook with an update and to plead with friends and family to pray for her "baby boy."