I was recently talking with a friend. It was obvious to me that she was upset, and I began to see if it was something she felt like talking about.
“I can tell you’re upset,” I said. “What would make you happy right now?”
She seemed to ponder, and then her answer took me a little by surprise.
“It would make me happy if he was happy,” she answered.
I looked at her long and hard, finally replying, “You can’t put that on yourself. You can’t be responsible for the happiness of someone else. That’s on them.”
It was true. Her narrow shoulders could only handle so much weight, but I knew this was a burden many of us carried in our relationships.
If I was a better wife he wouldn’t have cheated.
If I was a better mother she wouldn’t have started using drugs.
If I was a better friend she wouldn’t have tried to kill herself.
If I was a better daughter maybe mom wouldn’t drink so much.
Or maybe dad wouldn’t have left.
If I can be a more attentive girlfriend maybe things will get better.