“I Could Get Grumpy or I Could Get Creative”: How to Master Expectation-Management in Marriage

expectations in marriage

I could get grumpy or I could get creative.” Not exactly the words you want running through your mind on your first Valentine’s Day as a new wife. But this was about expectations in marriage.

First off, if you’re reading this the day I’m posting, HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY 2019, GIRLFRIEND.

I hope that your day is full of hearts and chocolate and pink balloons and all of your favorite desserts.

BUT. If your day is anything like mine was a couple years ago, the day may look a tad differently due to an unexpected turn of events.

Well, actually, let me rephrase.

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The unexpected turn of events was more of an unmet expectation event – you know, my expectations in marriage that I didn’t exactly share with my husband.


You see, I just KNEW that since it was our first V-Day as a married couple that Matt was going to go ALL out for this day. (Or so my expectations in marriage told me.)

But as the morning turned into afternoon. And the afternoon turned to evening, my expectations in marriage—those high, high hopes (cue Panic at the Disco song) began to dwindle when I didn’t hear from him about the surprise, over the top, glamorous plans for the evening I just knew he had in the works.

This was a very quick lesson learned in our marriage: Matt isn’t a mind reader (shocking, right?).

Sister, are you like me with these high expectations in marriage – left sitting in your head and heart – but not actually spoken out to your significant other? If so, this episode is here to put your mind at ease, and ultimately help strengthen your relationship in the process.

I’ve brought my hubby on for this one, just to make sure I painted an accurate picture of that hilarious V-Day (gotta pull him in to keep me straight sometimes).

Listen in to learn the four things you can do RIGHT NOW to make this the best, and most expectation managed Valentine’s Day yet.

And these principles don’t just apply to V-Day, sister. These are tips and tricks to carry you with into everyday situations with your man.

And don’t worry, the boys aren’t getting off too easily, either. While sometimes women need to manage their expectations, men also need to equally step up to the plate a bit by anticipating the needs of the relationship.

I can’t wait for you to hear our first (almost disastrous) V-Day as a married couple -while also learning some tangible tips on how to manage the hype around this holiday along the way.

After you listen, head on over to the Together Network or my Instagram and let me know YOUR worst or best V-day story. Let’s learn to take the pressure off and laugh at ourselves together, friend.

Jordan Lee
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Jordan Lee is the creative voice behind the blog, The SoulScripts. She is passionate about seeing women set free by the love of Christ and works to bring them to that through sharing real, raw, and relatable stories and anecdotes with a creative spin. She launched her site in 2015 on a simple premise — to get real, to sort through the lies women believe, and to encourage readers in Truth while offering touches of comic relief along the way. She especially loves to keep it real by speaking openly into real-life struggles and offer encouragement through storytelling because she believes that our stories are the most unifying thing we have. The messy, broken, and imperfect parts of life are the threads that weave us together, reminding us that we are truly not alone. She understands the reality that we all have imperfections, brokenness, and pieces of our lives we’d rather not show. She recently published her first book, WholeheARTed: A Coloring Book Devotional, released this past spring. It is available for purchase via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her with a coffee in hand as she dives into the Word, jogging through town, and traveling the globe with her husband. You can get to know her more on Facebook, Twitter,or Instagram.