Dear Future Son-in-Law: There’s Something You Need to Know About My Daughter’s 1st Love

By Brie Gowen

Dear Future Son,

I am so excited at the thought of finally having a son, but I thought before we started hugging and picking out matching shirts for Christmas pictures I should get this one little thing out in the open. See, my daughter’s heart doesn’t belong to you.I know if you’re set on marrying my daughter then you’ve accepted me and her father. You’ve learned that her dad can be pretty protective, but you’ve also probably discovered he’s not the one you need to fear. Sure he was pretty intimidating when you showed up at the door for that first date, but you picked up real quick that he wasn’t the one you had to worry about.

Indeed, no shotgun rested by the front door, and no verbal threats were necessary to keep you in line. Her daddy knew, just like I knew, that you wouldn’t have made it that far if you weren’t up to par. We knew this because we spent the last decade or more instilling in our little girl just how special she was, and she certainly wouldn’t entertain the affections of someone who didn’t treat her with the respect or the worthwhile esteem she deserved.

See, we knew our young lady had been raised to be confident in who she was, not who magazines or movies suggested she should be. We knew she had respect for her body as the prize it was, and that she wouldn’t give a second thought to any boy who ogled her simply for her physical features. In fact, we knew she would choose wisely who she let have access to her heart, fully realizing that she was precious in this world already, and didn’t require a man to tell her so. Because of her confidence, high self-worth, and ability to stand firm in her convictions we were able to relax when you finally came a calling. We figured you were the real deal if you had passed her seal of approval.

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And now that you have made the decision to make her your wife I just wanted to make sure you understood what you were getting into. I wanted to ensure you realized that although she loves you something fierce that in reality you will always come in second place for her affections. I have no doubt that she will love you unconditionally and serve you out of that adoration, just as I know you’ll serve her too, but understand that you will never be her everything. It just won’t happen.

You see, although her father and I have prayed for you, we also prayed for more. When she was just a little girl, and we would gaze at her sleeping form, we would petition the Lord this one thing.

May she grow to be a woman who seeks your face, Lord, a woman after your own heart.

We prayed this same prayer day after day, and though as she got older we incorporated prayers that she would find a loving spouse and provider, we never stopped interceding over her relationship with Jesus. Indeed she’s grown in beauty and grace, but she has also matured in her relationship with the Lord.

When I see her look at you across the room I have no doubt that she loves you madly. You have won her affections, and she’ll love you forever, just realize you’re not her first love. You actually come second to her Savior, but I think you’ll appreciate that fact. Because of her devotion to God she will more readily hear His voice on how to interact with you, how to be patient, kind, and selfless. Because of her love for Jesus she’ll be able to love you more than you could ever imagine. And for that, you’re welcome. Wink, wink.

Like I said before, if you’ve made it this far I think you’re gonna be okay. You must love her like Christ does or you never would have gotten to this point. I pray you always love her with the eyes of Jesus, and serve your marriage much the same. If you can get past the fact that she’s grumpy in the morning and cries during romantic movies then I know you’ll be just fine.

So welcome to the family.

Now about the Christmas card photo…



P.S. Take it easy on your father-in-law. He’s been a girl daddy up until this point.

About the Author: Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at

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