Opinions will differ. Some women will be flabbergasted at the thought, but many others are more accepting. The majority see it as an innocent substitution for when they cannot please their spouse, or perhaps even a great way to spice up their sex life. Some couples watch it together, while other women just see it as something men will do regardless. As if men are animals without control over their own sexual restraint. I recently saw this overwhelming acceptance of porn played out on a social media discussion and it saddened me so much. I realized it broke my heart because I once used to feel the same way.
I said as much to my spouse when he couldn’t understand why women didn’t see a problem with porn. I had in front of me a rare man, a lover of Jesus, who understood that pornography was demeaning to men and women alike, so I had to explain the way I used to think to him.
I used to not see a problem with porn. In fact, in all honesty, I enjoyed it. I used to watch it with my ex-husband, and porn was just a normal part of our relationship. As a wife, I wanted to keep my man happy, and if that meant being cool with strip clubs and nudie flicks then that was what I did. I thought that was normal. I thought it was healthy. I thought it was good for my marriage. But I was wrong.
The eyes are windows to the soul, so when you allow images to enter your heart that shouldn’t be there you will be negatively affected. You might not realize it at first, but eventually, it wreaks havoc on your relationship. It’s poison. It’s a fantasy that you can never emulate, not that I’m sure why any of us would want to.
Pornography gives you a false sense of sex. It takes out the love and makes it all about physical pleasure, and that’s not what marriage is at all. Porn doesn’t allow real people with real problems that must be worked out. It doesn’t deal with body image issues postpartum, but instead creates an unrealistic body ideal. Porn wrecks self-esteem of the watcher.
Pornography makes sex a game. It often depicts women being used and abused for the pleasure of a man like they are less than human. It’s animalistic in nature, makes it appear like women enjoy being weak and violated, and it’s no wonder it creates a false opinion of what women want and how they should be treated. Porn destroys healthy sexual relationships in marriage by trying to twist them into something they were never meant to be.
Pornography is an outlet for sexual pleasure. It’s an easy way for men and women alike to self-satisfy without the messy (to mean, it requires) work of a real sexual encounter with their mate. I’ll be blatantly honest at this point for the purposes of this post. Neither myself nor my husband masturbates. When we want sexual satisfaction we find it with each other. Even when we’re tired or we’re not in the mood individually we will get there for the other. There’s no time or need for another sexual outlet in our relationship. We’ve got that base covered just fine. Porn takes the place of healthy, frequent sex in marriage.
