“Weep deeply over the life you hoped would be.” Even as I write those words, I feel a sense of release. We who are sometimes too guarded about our pain, because it seems more spiritual, need to shed tears. Acknowledge what is hard. Grieve the loss. Feel the sting of what will never be.
Weeping helps me heal. Since mourning is rarely a “one and done” event, I sometimes break down long after I think I have moved on. Often unexpectedly. When tears well up, I have learned to acknowledge and even welcome them. They frequently reveal something that is worth paying attention to.
I mourn the loss of what once was as well as the loss of what never was. They are both losses of what I hoped would be. Couples who have struggled with infertility, as well as those who have buried a child, or who are raising a special needs child or a wayward son or daughter, have all lost what they hoped would be. Whatever the origin, they are losses nonetheless.
Wash Your Face
After I have wept and grieved, I wash my face. I don’t just dry my tears. I take a warm cloth and wipe the salty streaks from my cheeks. I let the soothing warmth move across my skin. Then I splash cool water on my face to refresh me, redirect my thoughts, and fix my eyes on the Lord. Only then can I move on.
This is a deliberate act, a choice I make to refocus.
When I refocus, I take my eyes off my problems, and shift them onto the Lord — and I choose to trust him. Trust him even when my situation looks black. Trust him that he is working for my good. Trust him that he knows what is best.
Embrace the Life God’s Given
Finally, I am called to embrace the life I have. Embrace it as I would a beloved friend. Wholeheartedly. With joyful acceptance, not grudging obedience. Embracing means gladly receiving and even welcoming whatever the Lord gives me, even when it wasn’t in my plans. It means being fully present, living in the now, finding joy in the moment, and not longing for what’s past.
So today, if you are feeling weary and disappointed about your life, allow yourself to grieve. To weep deeply. To mourn the loss of what you hoped for. But then after you have lamented, wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life he’s given you.
Into a world of great sadness and loss, God told his people, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18–19).
The Lord is indeed doing a new thing in my life. And yours as well. He is making a way in the wilderness and forging streams in the wasteland. Lean into it, and embrace it. God is doing something beautiful.
