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3 Godly Ways to Resolve Arguments With Your Husband

For example, if I share with him how I feel about a certain issue and he disagrees or defends himself, I immediately feel myself getting angry. I mean, what wife doesn’t want her husband to understand her?

Sometimes it turns into a little back and forth argument which can end one of two ways: awkward silence or intentional affirmation.

Even if I don’t agree with my husband, I can choose to affirm the qualities I know he has. For example, if I shared with my husband that I feel like he needs to help around the house more and he responded with the argument that he works full time and doesn’t have time, that would hurt me. I may even say, “Hey, I work, too, but I pull my weight.”

Then, he may get defensive and my mind might start going. I would likely begin thinking about all the times I had to pick up after him, jumping to the conclusion that he’s just lazy. Suddenly, all I see is laziness when I look at him–even if he’s not really lazy at all. Maybe he had a few moments of forgetfulness but those moments don’t shift his whole identity to be a lazy person–and I have to remind myself of that.

Husband

When I notice that happening, I have to vocalize affirmations in order to shut out the enemy’s lies.

I may say something like, “I know that you are a mature and responsible man. I know that you are a strong man of God and a good husband. I’m frustrated with a few recent situations but I know that’s not who you are and I only share my feelings with you because I know what you’re capable of and can do better.”

This helps brings down his defense shields and also calms my heart and reminds me to see him as a whole, instead of hyper focusing on his mistakes. Try it next time!

Husband

3. Start Praying Out Loud

This is a new one I’m trying and it’s something you have to be careful with so as not to seem as though you’re ignoring your husband or mocking him in the middle of an argument.

Recently, Matt and I were in a heated argument and I could feel myself about to say something I’d really regret. So, I just folded my hands and covered my mouth and started praying instead of saying what I really wanted to say.

While it was done with good intentions, my husband thought I was trying to make a statement with it and it upset him.

I’ve now learned that when we can’t come to an agreement or the argument is getting really heated, it’s best to invite him to pray WITH me. It’s far more effective to take his hand and say, “Okay, okay, okay, hang on. This is going nowhere can we just pray and calm down? Then we can talk again,” then to just start praying alone.

When you share with him what you’re about to do as well as invite him to join you, it shows him respect and allows both of you surrender to God instead of trying to get the other to surrender to you.

Turning to prayer allows us to channel all the ugly words we may have said into loving and intentional words of prayer. Doing this will help you take a break, avoid letting your emotions take over the argument, get your priorities back in line, and finish the discussion in a more peaceful, humble, and Godly manner.

husband

Like you, it breaks my heart when my husband and I argue. I hate being at odds with him. I hate feeling like we aren’t as happy as we should be because that makes me believe the lie that we aren’t as Godly as we should be. I feel like we don’t measure up to all the other seemingly perfect, Godly couples I see on the internet or at church.

But the reality is that real couples aren’t perfect and perfect couples aren’t real.

So, breathe. And try out one of these ideas the next time you find yourself at odds with your husband. Because this isn’t about perfection but unity.

Remember, the enemy seeks to plot, steal, and kill (John 10:10). Take this seriously: the enemy WANTS to destroy your marriage. Giving your husband the silent treatment or screaming at him gives the enemy the power he’s dying to have in your marriage.

Don’t overlook little arguments but understand that they are part of the enemy’s schemes to divide and destroy a good, Godly thing. Identify them. Call them out for what they are. Don’t brush it under the rug. Take Godly action even when it’s hard.

Because your marriage is not so much a mural as it is a mosaic. Every piece you add–good or bad–counts. So, build it beautiful.

***

This post originally appeared at blog.thesoulscripts.com, published with permission.

Jordan Lee
Jordan Leehttp://thesoulscripts.com/
Jordan Lee is the creative voice behind the blog, The SoulScripts. She is passionate about seeing women set free by the love of Christ and works to bring them to that through sharing real, raw, and relatable stories and anecdotes with a creative spin. She launched her site in 2015 on a simple premise — to get real, to sort through the lies women believe, and to encourage readers in Truth while offering touches of comic relief along the way. She especially loves to keep it real by speaking openly into real-life struggles and offer encouragement through storytelling because she believes that our stories are the most unifying thing we have. The messy, broken, and imperfect parts of life are the threads that weave us together, reminding us that we are truly not alone. She understands the reality that we all have imperfections, brokenness, and pieces of our lives we’d rather not show. She recently published her first book, WholeheARTed: A Coloring Book Devotional, released this past spring. It is available for purchase via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her with a coffee in hand as she dives into the Word, jogging through town, and traveling the globe with her husband. You can get to know her more on Facebook, Twitter,or Instagram.

How a Popcorn Kernel Nearly Cost 41-Year-Old Adam Martin His Life

Discover the harrowing story of Adam Martin, a 41-year-old firefighter, whose life-threatening infection from a popcorn kernel stuck in his tooth led to open-heart surgery. Learn about the importance of dental health and timely medical care.

This Hospital Dance Party Between a Baby Cardiac Patient and His Amazing Pediatric Tech Will Melt Your Heart

Prepare to be moved by the incredible story of Blake Sheffer, a baby cardiac patient, and his dedicated pediatric technician who dance together daily in the hospital. Their joyous dance parties bring hope, laughter, and resilience to Blake's recovery journey.

Tinder Couple Who Exchanged Messages for 3 Years Finally Meets on ‘Good Morning America’

Discover the heartwarming story of Josh Avsec and Michelle Arendas, a Tinder couple whose three-year-long message exchange went viral, leading to their first meeting on 'Good Morning America.'