Friendship.
Support.
Sexuality.
Family.
Recreation.
That’s why you get married. That’s why God created marriage.
Here’s the problem — that’s not why most people get married.
At least, that’s not why I got married. I got married to be happy.
Don’t get me wrong. I was into all that other stuff. She was my closest friend. There was a calling on our life together that we were excited about. Sex…uh…yes. And we both wanted a family one day. But none of those reasons were the reason.
Like millions upon millions of other Americans, I married for happiness.
That sounds innocuous at first glance. Heck, it sounds romantic. But the trouble is that happiness is the result of a healthy marriage. It’s not the reason for marriage. Happiness is a great thing, but it’s the by-product, the afterclap of marriage. It’s not the point.
God doesn’t look down on Adam and say, “He looks sad. He needs a lift. He needs another human being to quench the thirst of his soul. I will make him a helper to satisfy his deepest longings. Eve, the pressure’s on.” Of course not. Only God can do that.
A spouse is not a substitute for God.
The point of marriage isn’t to find our missing half. It’s to help each other become all God intended. Our future, real selves. In marriage, two people partner to that end. They see the best in each other — the person God created them to be — and they push and pull each other toward that goal.
