I have long been an advocate of keeping kids off of social media until they’re at least 16 (and it so depends on the child!), so I was jazzed when I saw that HGTV stars Erin and Ben Napier are encouraging other parents to do the same. The “Home Town Takeover” co-stars are the parents of two girls, Helen and Mae, ages 5 and 2. And while their kids are definitely too young for social media now, the Napiers say they’re going to still be too young ten years from now.
I can’t help but agree with their perspective. As Erin says (ironically) on Instagram. “Research tells us social media is as addictive and destructive for developing brains as any drug.” The longer we keep our kiddos off of it, they better off they will be. Social media can be bad for self-esteem, and is a digital playground for bullies, not to mention predators.
To help bring some solidarity and community to parents who are making the decision to keep their kids social media-free, and to the teens affected by this decision, the Napiers have founded a non-profit called Osprey. I have to admit Erin’s explanation for why they are founding this organization totally warmed my heart and made me say “YASSSS GIRL!” out loud. Here’s what she says:
“My friends parenting smart phone-free middle schoolers have had a brutal experience of seeing their child left out, even though research tells us social media is as addictive and destructive for developing brains as any drug. This made me think: my kindergartener doesn’t expect to drive a car before she’s old enough. She doesn’t expect to own a house of her own before she’s old enough. If we build a culture in our home and school now where she doesn’t expect access to the entire world in her pocket until she’s much older, we can set her up for success. When the time comes, a simple phone that can just call and text will be great: in the same way she’ll ride a bicycle before she drives a car. Forming a circle of families and friends who are in this together when your kids are little, linking arms and doing what it takes to give your kids the gift of a social media free adolescence is the only way we change the culture. For the TWENTY THOUSAND parents who’ve already joined the Osprey newsletter after my post last month, we have a vision and a plan to give our kids support that starts now and takes them through high school graduation. Let’s make old school the new way.”
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This line especially stuck with me: “If we build a culture in our home and school now where she doesn’t expect access to the entire world in her pocket until she’s much older, we can set her up for success.”
Parenting is hard, to say the least. Parenting in the digital and social media and smartphone age is nothing our own parents ever faced or can prepare us to face. The Napiers’ strategy of playing the long game and setting their kids up for success by planning and building a culture with clear expectations is so, so important. As Erin told TODAY, she hopes the Osprey community will help combat the “everybody else is doing it” pressure that both parents and kids feel about smart phones and social media.
“‘Everybody else is doing it; We didn’t want to give them social media; We didn’t want to give them a phone, but everybody else it doing it’ … What if there is a way to create communities, small communities within schools, that hopefully become big communities within schools, where families say, ‘We’re not going to (use social media)’?” she says.
The idea of creating a support network of like-minded parents is key to making this kind of commitment a success. Napier continues, “…(the families) support each other, they kind of make a pledge together when their kids are in about fifth grade, and then they see it through and support each other, share resources.”
These resources for parents can be found at the Napiers’ non-profit website, Ospreykids.com, where users can sign up for free and download a guidebook with information about your kids’ brain development and a pledge to sign to keep them social media-free.
It sounds to me like this is an organization that truly has kids’ best interests at heart, and I’m here for it! I wish Osprey and the Napiers all the best in changing lives and helping kids stay healthy for years to come.
See what else the Napiers are working on these days in this recent interview:
