The age of ever-increasing consumerism, “me first,” and “do what makes YOU feel good” (at any expense), has lent ourselves to a microwave culture that wants what we want NOW and wants to dispose of what’s not making us happy and what has us feeling unhappy even quicker.
This mentality has unfortunately crept into marriages and painted the cliché ‘the grass is greener’ in even brighter colors.
With approximately half of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s clear that spouses have become disposable commodities more than ever. We crave novelty, romance, and butterflies and loathe feeling unhappy, all while neglecting the fact that true love is a choice, not a feeling.
As stated by theologian John Piper, “I believe that most couples who stay married for [50] or [60] years fall in and out of love numerous times. I say that with not the slightest hint of trying to be funny. It is, in my judgment, almost ludicrous to think that we experience ‘being in love’ the same for the entire [60] years, just like we felt at the beginning of that relationship. That’s just utterly crazy.”
Similarly, down-to-earth dad blogger DadMum decided to paint the reality of an enduring marriage after he was questioned if he felt unhappy with the “monotony of everyday life” after being with the same woman for 10 years.
With over 270,000 shares on Facebook, his wise words of advice about “growing together and finding new reasons to fall in love all over again” have struck a chord with spouses across the world. Read the post in full below:
[**Edited for language]
“We’ve been together almost 10 years now.
Yesterday I got a message asking if I felt unhappy with the monotony of everyday life in a longstanding relationship. If my wife has gotten a bit boring over time and how I’ve adapted to that or if I’m still expecting more from her. You know… to be more exciting or fun loving ….
Well here’s the thing…
After [10] years a lot of our days can feel the same. We might be feeling unhappy. They’re easily lost in the weeks into the months into the years. But that doesn’t mean they’re monotonous. It just means we have [a lot] going on right now.
She doesn’t jump my bones at any chance she gets; and she’s not exactly the promiscuous 18-year-old that once wooed me at a party. But that doesn’t make her boring. It just means we’ve got responsibilities that are a little more on her mind right now.
And yes, she can be a little more tired and snappy nowadays. But that doesn’t mean she’s not still the fun-loving chick I once dated. It just means there’s plenty of [stuff] going on that she might be stressed about.
You can’t expect things to never change in a relationship.Sometimes you might be feeling unhappy. Because they do. As time goes on [it] becomes a little less fairytale and a little more life. If she’s stressed, try to take more of the load from her. If she’s tired, let her rest. If she’s anxious, tell her she’s doing a great job and if she’s insecure, tell her you love her more than you ever did.
It’s not about falling in love once and riding that out until the end of your days.
It’s not about judging them against who they used to be.
It’s about growing together and finding new reasons to fall in love all over again.
But one thing’s for sure… don’t for one second think it’s all on her to make things better or more exciting. You can’t expect her to act like a princess if she’s treated like a slave.
Let her know you’re in it together. It’s up to both of us to keep the spark going!
I think she’s all right.”
Facebook/DadMum
If DadMum‘s words inspired you to love your husband or wife a little better today, be sure to SHARE his message with your friends on Facebook!
