He took a call in the back room—I could hear over the baby monitor that it was one of his best friends—who also happened to be a therapist—who I had contacted that day to see if he could check on him. The conversation I heard over the monitor was shattering. The things he said about me to this man… painted the picture that I was out sleeping around and abandoning my family. They were all lies. After a few minutes I turned the baby monitor off, wiped my tears, and started upstairs to put the kids to bed.
By the time I walked down from tucking in the last child, Emmett was off the phone. He announced, ‘Guess what? He thinks you are as crazy as I do!!’ I responded, ‘Well, if we are going to have HIM give opinions on our situation, shouldn’t he speak to both of us?’ ‘Sure, but you aren’t touching my phone.’ I grabbed my phone and headed to our bedroom. While unplugging the baby monitor, I dialed. All I heard on the other end was, ‘Ashlee what are you doing? You are going to ruin your family.’ I tried to get words in over his voice, ‘NO. You have to understand. I… there is something… wrong. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t stop fighting this feeling that something is SO wrong. Please listen to me. I have reached out to our leaders at church, and a marriage therapist, and they all want to help us. I just don’t know what we need help with. I am here every day loving these kids. I have literally been going through the garbage to find just one clue on what is wrong. I am here waiting to love Emmett, but he is gone. Physically not here, but even when he is home, he is a shell of himself and I miss the heck out of him. I just need to know what is wrong so I can fix it. One answer! I fix things, I can fix this. But I have to know what is wrong. Please believe me, I need you to help me.’
After spending the last half hour talking with a very intelligent attorney, this friend was not to be swayed in his opinion about our marriage—or really MY—issues. He continued to tell me I was going to ruin our family. In the middle of our conversation Emmett came in and whispered, ‘I have got to run to Walgreens.’ The prior weeks had made it clear that this quick trip to Walgreens would turn into a night of me spending hours wondering where he was. I held the phone away from my face, ‘Emmett I beg you. Don’t leave. Stay here. We can figure this out. I love you.’ He turned away as he muttered, ‘No, don’t tell me what to do. I am going to go.’
