The age of ever-increasing consumerism, “me first”, and “do what makes YOU feel good” (at any expense), has lent ourselves to a microwave culture that wants what we want NOW and wants to dispose of what’s not making us happy and what has us feeling unhappy even quicker.
This mentality has unfortunately crept into marriages and painted the cliché ‘the grass is greener’ in even brighter colors.
With approximately half of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s clear that spouses have become disposable commodities more than ever. We crave novelty, romance, and butterflies, all while neglecting the fact that true love is a choice, not a feeling.
As stated by theologian John Piper, “I believe that most couples who stay married for 50 or 60 years fall in and out of love numerous times. I say that with not the slightest hint of trying to be funny. It is, in my judgment, almost ludicrous to think that we experience ‘being in love’ the same for the entire [60] years, just like we felt at the beginning of that relationship. That’s just utterly crazy.”
Similarly, down-to-earth dad blogger DadMum decided to share the reality of an enduring marriage after he was questioned if he felt unhappy with the “monotony of everyday life” after being with the same woman for 10 years.
With over 235,000 shares on Facebook, his wise words of advice about “growing together and finding new reasons to fall in love all over again” have struck a chord with spouses across the world. Read the post in full below:
[**Edited for language]
“We’ve been together almost 10 years now.
Yesterday I got a message asking if I felt unhappy with the monotony of everyday life in a longstanding relationship. If my wife has gotten a bit boring over time and how I’ve adapted to that or if I’m still expecting more from her. You know… to be more exciting or fun loving ….
Well here’s the thing…
After 10 years a lot of our days can feel the same. We might be feeling unhappy. They’re easily lost in the weeks into the months into the years. But that doesn’t mean they’re monotonous. It just means we have [a lot] going on right now.
She doesn’t jump my bones at any chance she gets; and she’s not exactly the promiscuous 18-year-old that once wooed me at a party. But that doesn’t make her boring. It just means we’ve got responsibilities that are a little more on her mind right now.
And yes, she can be a little more tired and snappy nowadays. But that doesn’t mean she’s not still the fun-loving chick I once dated. It just means there’s plenty of [stuff] going on that she might be stressed about.
