It’s super sad to me that ring shaming is actually a thing. I mean, I get that we live in a materialistic world, and I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t help but drool over a Tiffany’s princess-cut diamond — but to judge others by the size or price of their ring just seems utterly ridiculous to me.
The rock on your finger doesn’t have the capacity to anchor your marriage, nor does its size proportionately represent the depth of love a man has for you or the longevity of a relationship. Trust me, I’ve seen a girl with a $40,000 engagement ring not even make it to “I do” because the guy was a total schmuck.
Thankfully, a beautiful bride named Ariel Desiree McRae is reminding us all of that very truth in proud, cubic-zirconia style with a viral Facebook post that has been shared by media outlets across America:
My husband doesn’t have a lot, neither of us do. We scrape and scrape to pay bills and put food in our bellies, but after almost 2 years of dating we decided that we couldn’t wait anymore, so we didn’t.
I wasn’t even thinking about rings, I just wanted to marry my best friend, but he wouldn’t have it. He scraped up just enough money to buy me two matching rings from Pandora. Sterling silver and CZ to be exact. That’s what sits on my ring finger, and I am so in love with them.
While we were purchasing my rings however, another lady that was working there came over to help the lady selling them to us. She said, ‘Y’all can you believe that some men get these as engagement rings? How pathetic.’ When she said that I watched my now husband’s face fall. He already felt bad because he couldn’t afford the pear-shaped set that so obviously had my heart and covered my Pinterest page. He already felt like a failure, asking me again and again ‘Are you sure you’ll be happy with these? Are you sure this is okay?’ He was so upset at the idea of not making me happy enough and of me not wanting to marry him because my rings didn’t cost enough money or weren’t flashy enough.
Old Ariel would have ripped that woman a new one. Mature Ariel said, ‘It isn’t the ring that matters, it is the love that goes into buying one that is.’ We bought the rings and left.
Y’all I would have gotten married to this man if it had been a 25¢ gum ball machine ring. When did our nation fall so far to think the only way a man can truly love a woman is if he buys her $3,000+ jewelry and makes a public decree of his affection with said flashy ring? Sure they are nice, sure the sentiment is wonderful and I’m not trying to cut down any of your experiences, but when did it come to all that? Why do material possessions equate love??
My husband was so afraid of me not wanting him because he couldn’t afford a piece of jewelry. He was afraid that the love I have for him would pale because he couldn’t afford the wedding set I wanted. The world has made it this way and it is so sad. Ultimately we couldn’t wait any longer.. so we eloped. I’ve never been this happy in my life and I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else ever. Here I am, Court-House married, $130 ring set, the love of my life by my side and happier than I could ever imagine.
Update: This post keeps growing much to my surprise, and I’ve been asked a thousand times how we met. So here is the short version! My husband and I met online at the age of 20, talked on the phone (and I mean actually talked not text) for 6+ hours a day for two days. He then drove an hour out of his way to take me on a date. I wore a tacky Christmas sweater (if you think I am lying, ask him). We ate wings, had a burping contest, and drove around listening to music and singing. I fell in love with him on the first date. If he had asked me to marry him the first time we met, I probably would have said yes. To be honest, we had wanted to elope three months into dating, but decided to take some extra time to get established beforehand. Ultimately we couldn’t wait any longer.. so we eloped. I’ve never been this happy in my life and I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else ever.