We live in an age where rape culture has become “normal,” and victims are accused of being at fault for whatever happened to them.
In the words of Dan Turner, father of Stanford rapist Brock Turner, the victim of his sexual animosity was merely “20 minutes of action.”
In an article titled “I Didn’t Tell,” public figure Kristina Kuzmic opens up about a time when a man she’d trusted forced himself onto her.
As she explains it, the decision to be open about the subject came around the time a handful of victims accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault. As Kristina remembers it, “the most common question early on wasn’t: ‘How could he do something so horrible?’ Instead the question people seemed to be asking was: ‘Why should we believe these women when they didn’t bother speaking up right away?’”
Kristina says she believed them.
That’s because, unfortunately, she’s been in their shoes.
About 10 years prior to her writing about her experience, Kristina was enduring one of the toughest times of her life. A mom to two young children—both under the age of three—Kristina had just decided to leave her marriage.
“I hadn’t even moved out yet. I didn’t know where to go or how I’d pay for it.”
It was during this season of “starting over,” that a friend suggested she take an acting class.
“Your college degree is in theater,” she recalls her friend saying. “You never know what types of connections you might build through this class. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but I think it’d be good for you.”
Eventually she took her advice, and the acting class wound up being an excellent “escape” from the day-to-day stress of stay-at-home, separated-mom life.
By the end of the semester, Kristina had been contacted by one of the talent managers who’d seen her final presentation.
“Wow, a talent manager believed I could get television and film work. I was flattered and hopeful that maybe if I actually booked some work, it would make my post-divorce life a bit easier, at least financially.”
After signing a “lengthy contract,” Kristina and her new talent manager had a few regular meetings to map out the trajectory of her career. Their interactions were purely professional, and Kristina felt comfortable trusting him with career decisions.
Or so she thought.
One night after having a meeting with her manager at “one of those fancy, high-rise buildings in Los Angeles,” he asked Kristina if she could give him a ride to a dinner meeting he’d scheduled right after.
“He had taken a taxi to our meeting and his next destination was on my way home, so it didn’t seem like a big deal to just drop him off. We got in my car and continued our business-related conversation.”
But then things changed.
“Once we got into the typical, annoying Los Angeles traffic, completely out of the blue, he placed his hand on my inner thigh and then grabbed my crotch. I screamed, ‘What are you doing? No!’”
While still controlling the vehicle, Kristina tried to pull his hand off of her, but she couldn’t.