I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.
I’m too much for some people. Too loud; too outspoken. I talk too much. I voice my opinions far too often and forget the filter.
To others, I am too quiet. Shy. Off putting. Maybe even stuck up.
To some I’m just a mom. A mom who could stand to lose a few pounds. Someone who needs to get it together. I’m disheveled – a hot mess. I make lists only to forget them on my kitchen counter.
To others I’m too career driven, too organized; by the book. A control freak, too structured. A planner.
Do you see a trend here? I’m always going to be too much for some and not enough for others, when in reality I’m both. I’m equal parts loud and quiet. I’m career driven and a hot mess mama.
As women, we worry so much about what other people think or what we think they might be thinking. We create judgments in our own heads. We hear undertone where it’s not even meant to exist. We over-analyze text messages. We worry why we didn’t get the invite. We see glances and whispers and assume they must be directed at us.
We waste so much of our time worrying about what other people’s opinions of us are. We try so hard to bend ourselves fifty different ways to fit a mold in hopes of somehow satisfying everyone else, only to leave ourselves feeling empty.
But, why? For what?
Approval?
Sister, we are far beyond the years of needing someone else’s approval.
This is YOUR motherhood. This is your journey.
If you want to work, work.
If you want to be a stay at home mom, do it.
If you laugh too loudly or people don’t get your sense of humor, who cares.
If painting or writing, or any other thing brings you joy, chase it.
If you want to breastfeed your baby on the subway, be prideful.
If you are quiet and people think you are stuck up, that’s their loss, sister.
If you didn’t bake anything for the annual bake sale, but managed to run by the grocery store to pick up cookies, set them on the table with confidence.
Stop apologizing. Stop worrying about what other people think. I know. I know. Heaven forbid we offend someone … GASP.
Obviously, if you have done something to truly hurt someone, by all means own it. Apologize. Do the right thing, but stop apologizing for things that are your choice.
Stop doubting your own decisions. Stop looking over your shoulder. Stop trying to please everyone else.
Because, people? Well, people are always going to have an opinion. I’m just at the point in my life where I can finally say – LET THEM and I think you are, too.
People aren’t always going to agree with you. In fact, some people aren’t going to like you for no other reason than because they can. Is it fair? No. But it’s OK. Don’t be afraid to go against the tide; to do your own thing without question or hesitation. Do the thing that sets your soul on fire, regardless of what others think.
Be who you were made to be, not who others want you to be.
Because you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, just like I’m not. But, those people? They aren’t your people.
This post originally appeared at They Whine, so I Wine, published with permission.
