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The Intimacy of Toothbrushes (…And Sex)

Kim looked steadily at the crowd of 200 kids. “Let me explain what holy is,” she said. “Holy means set apart for just one person’s use. It means it’s not for anyone else. Just for one person.”

She produced a toothbrush from her bag. “Like this toothbrush. This is my toothbrush. I used it this morning. You just had a snack and probably need to brush your teeth. Would you like to use my toothbrush?” The crowd erupted with a chorus of “no!!!” and “eeeew!” Not a single furry-toothed kid wanted to take her up on her offer.

Brilliant illustration, I thought. Even at a young age, kids know that toothbrushes are intimate things. You don’t just go around sharing toothbrushes: They are reserved for your mouth alone.

The toothbrush analogy came flooding back to mind this week while I was watching a TV show. As is the way of much entertainment, the story involved a (young, in-love, responsible, monogamous) dating couple. They were in bed together. Another show later that week depicted another couple waking up together—with different partners than they had woken up with a few weeks earlier in the season.

It got me thinking: How is it that we live in a world where we think that sharing toothbrushes is more intimate than sharing your body? Why does a crowd of children shy away from the thought of picking up a friend’s toothbrush and shoving it in their mouth, but we don’t bat an eyelid at the thought of someone picking up a friend and…(well, you know).

Is it the germs on a toothbrush? Sex involves more germs.

Is it the risk of disease? Sex has way more risk (and more reward, as I’ve written about here).

Is it the intimacy of a toothbrush? Sex is more intimate.

And yet people seem to be willing to brush their bodies together long before they’ll brush with one another’s toothbrushes.

In the last few weeks of our engagement, I remember running an errand—and instead of taking my old-jaloppy of a car, I borrowed my soon-to-be-husband’s significantly nicer set of wheels. I dropped something off at a friend’s and she walked me out to the parking lot. “Wow,” she observed, “I’m impressed! He trusts you to drive his car!”

I was stunned. Of course he trusted me with his car. He was about to entrust his heart, his life, his pocketbook, his most vulnerable self to me. What was a car in the scheme of things?

Entrusting yourself to someone is more intimate than entrusting your car to them. And sharing your body is more intimate than sharing a toothbrush. By an order of magnitude, in my opinion.

And it makes me wonder if, after an evening of flirting and good chemistry, if handsome guy was to sidle over to delightful girl and whisper, “So, you wanna go home and share my toothbrush?” whether the response might not be a little different.

Bronwyn Lea
Bronwyn Lea
Bronwyn Lea is South-African writer, retreat speaker and most-of-the-time mom, living in California. She writes about the holy and hilarious in faith, relationships and culture, and can be found online in her virtual living room, or being social on Facebook and Twitter.

Wow, I Literally Wept When This Adulterous Wife Texted Her Husband, “Can I Come Home?”

She grew up believing love was a weakness and clung to that lie even after marrying a godly man. Watch how God destroyed her life to make it beautiful again.

Christian Girl Is Burned to Death by ISIS but Her Final 2 Words Prove That God Wins

They torched their house while the daughter was in the shower—she died in her mother's arms.

“I Whipped Around and Let That Man Have It. I Told Him Off”: Elderly Lady in Grocery Store Sticks Up for Stranger With Autism

"He took up a lot of space. Moving around us. Weaving in and out of the aisles. Some ladies were annoyed. An old man behind us snickered and under his breath said, ‘hurry up.’"