I am sitting in a coffee shop right now. A few months ago I sat in this exact chair as I met with a young lady.
We were talking about how much she loved my son. She told me she could see herself married to him. I could see the sincerity in her eyes, and I believed her.
I told her I wanted to be her friend, and would support this new relationship as best as I could. I warned her I could be a little bit overprotective about my boy and to please understand if I acted crazy at times. I didn’t want to scare her, but I had to be honest. Because I love my kids so much, I let my heart take over and I can’t stop myself at times. Well, I suppose I could, but sometimes I don’t.
From the moment I held my son in my arms, I knew there would come a time when I had to let him go. Part of me really wants to do this because I know that’s how it’s supposed to be. I want him to live huge and enjoy this world God gave us, but the other part of me wants to lock him up in a back room so he can never leave. I know, scary, right?
Seriously, the days are long and the years are short and it just went too fast.
So back to the coffee shop. I am just sitting here, drinking my coffee, with tears streaming. The people around me must think I am unstable. I am texting back and forth with my son. You see, he married that same girl two days ago. He is telling me how much he loves being a husband. I am so happy to see him happy.
We watched as he promised his love and devotion to this precious girl. She said promises back as she gazed up at him with big, brown eyes that melted us all. Beau is a man of tenderness, with a heart the size of Texas. He needed a sweet wife, who will be soft with his fiercely loving soul. He found her.
There she was, the one I had been praying for since Beau was born, saying her vows to him. I wept. Not because of sadness, but because I was grateful, and overwhelmed at what God had just given us for the second time. Our daughter married a Godly young man, and we love him so much. How can we be so blessed? I mean, really….God is so good.
After the wedding. I couldn’t sleep well, thinking of my son, and hoping he was okay. It was his first night as a husband, and I wondered how he was feeling about this new change. Old habits die hard. I am used to worrying about him, but had to let go. It’s not the first time I have had to let go with my kids. You’d think I would be used to it by now. Right from birth, I have been expected to cut ties. Some of these ties are small, and barely noticed. Others feel like they are anchored right in the middle of my heart. But I am called to raise them and send them off, and so I do, with God’s grace.
I wrote this before falling asleep that night. I didn’t have a chance to talk to her much at the wedding, but wanted to capture my thoughts before the day ended.