Kids With ADHD Are Trying to Tell Us Something, And It’s Time for Us to Listen

As children with ADHD try to sit and listen to their teacher, it will not take long for them to zip-line somewhere else if what they are ‘learning’ is not interesting. If Mrs. Jones is lecturing about the War of 1812 and Joey does not care about the War of 1812, Joey will zip-line to something he finds more exciting. He might begin doodling his latest invention. He might begin tapping his pencil as he daydreams about creating a tree fort. Or, he might be wondering how far he can flick the paperclip on his desk using his left hand instead of his right. All is good until in the distance he hears his name being called, “Joey, Joey, Joey! What are you doing? What did I just say? You need to pay attention. You need to try harder!” Joey has absolutely no idea what Mrs. Jones just said. He zip-lined away long ago.

I tell parents and educators all the time, our ADHD children are not horrible, undisciplined or unruly children, we have just created a world that no longer allows them to fit inside the box. Our goal as parents and teachers is to reexamine the box we are expecting our children to fit into. Standing outside of the box is not a bad thing, it is our future, but we just keep trying to squash them into a one size fits all box.

Children who truly have ADHD are some of the most creative and innovative people alive, but instead of focusing on what is going on inside their brain, we focus on what we see outside their brain. We focus on their behaviors. We worry about what others think. We worry about the schools they will not get into. We worry that they will end up failing. But here is the irony, while we are worrying about their failure we have already set them up to fail.

Does this mean we should let our children run freely without any rules, routines or expectation? ABSOLUTELY NOT! All children need rules, routines and expectations to feel safe and secure, but we must stop setting them up for failure and begin helping them succeed. If you are the parent or the teacher of an ADHD child I challenge you to change the lens you are looking through. What changes can we make to help our ADHD children be accepted when they don’t fit inside the box?

• We must allow them time to zip-line for part of the day.
• We must allow them time to run, play and explore.
• We must support their interests and help them foster their passions.
• We must look at our education system.
• We must stop giving our children mindless homework.
• We must focus on their effort, find small successes and give them specific praise.

But, most importantly, we must think outside of the box and stop expecting everyone to fit into the same one.

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