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1 ½ Years After My Wedding, I Saw Marriage Wasn’t for Me—When I Looked at my Wife, I Knew My Dad Was Right

"The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy? Then, one fateful night..."

“I Looked Over to His Side of the Bed. He Wasn’t There. I Knew He Wouldn’t Be There, But for the First Time, It...

"I looked back to the bed. Still empty. And then it happened. I fell to my knees, and then to my back. It came from up from my gut. I could almost physically feel it moving to the top of my abdomen, to my chest, into my neck and then my head. I cannot describe the pain."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."

What Kind of God Lets Bad Things Happen?

In this video Jefferson Bethke unpacks the critical issue of human suffering in contrast with the cross. When tough times come we need to listen to God’s voice, because we are not alone. Let me say it again–we are not alone.

God is with us when we celebrate and when we suffer

Watching this made me think about my own experience with my mom.

I remember the first time my mom told me she hated me. I was ten and cooking her breakfast and she had one of her “mood swings” and decided I should have walked the dog even though I had no clue she wanted me to. Now I’m 28 and haven’t talked to my mom in a few years. I’ve tried reaching out but the relationship is gone and I’ve spent so long asking why this happened to me. Why did my mom threaten my family? Why did my mom tear up all the pictures of my dad and I? Why did my mom steal my college savings?

To be honest I found the answer in my own sin by realizing one very important thing, my mom is a sinner too. We have all fallen. For the longest time I thought God was this genie who would bless people He liked and keep things from those He didn’t.

This awesome video by Jefferson Bethke inspired by a Levi Luskos book, reminded me of a very clear image that God gave me two weeks after my mom very publicly and inaccurately accused my dad of an affair. I went from seeing God as this self righteous judge to a Father grieving with me. He didn’t create my mom to do that in fact, He has a love for her that’s mind blowing and she’s running from it, just like I do when I cling to my sin instead of the cross.

Jesus wept about Lazarus and He knew He could bring Him back from the dead…THAT’S compassion. We don’t serve a God who loves cleanly from a distance, instead, we’re loved by a God who is present in the mess and loving us through it. Where’s God when bad things happen? Grieving right there with you.

Lairs Johnston
Lairs Johnstonhttp://www.faithit.com
Lairs is the chief of sinners, saved by grace, with a life that just goes to show you God can use anyone. His passions are fighting sex trafficking, talking about depression, and helping high school students have a voice. He may only be 28 and a half but he can read at a 30 year old level.

1 ½ Years After My Wedding, I Saw Marriage Wasn’t for Me—When I Looked at my Wife, I Knew My Dad Was Right

"The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy? Then, one fateful night..."

“I Looked Over to His Side of the Bed. He Wasn’t There. I Knew He Wouldn’t Be There, But for the First Time, It...

"I looked back to the bed. Still empty. And then it happened. I fell to my knees, and then to my back. It came from up from my gut. I could almost physically feel it moving to the top of my abdomen, to my chest, into my neck and then my head. I cannot describe the pain."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."