“Lord, just get me through this storm.”
I found myself driving— alone, in the middle of a place I knew nothing about, with the wind and rain beating against me, and the low hanging dark clouds swarming around me.
It was hard to see.
And I felt my anxiety coming to the surface in what felt like panic and then tears.
Prior to leaving I had asked God to part the clouds and just make a way for me to get to my destination without going through the storms.
But He didn’t, apparently. So my prayer shifted.
“God, please just get me through this storm.”
Different forms of this begging mantra left my lips over and over again as I slowly made my way down the interstate.
But interestingly enough, this wasn’t the first time. As I said the words again, it took me back to another unknown place, another storm, more darkness.
I remember feeling the same anxiety and fear there—the same panicked tears…
There as I stood in the ER room.
There as I heard the nurse say— SHE’s not breathing!
There as what seemed like every nurse and doctor in the whole hospital surrounded my little girl’s bed in a matter of seconds.
There as I watched them pump air into her lifeless body.
There as I paced back & forth— so many eyes on me.
There as panicked tears trickled down my face and hard quiet sobs made their way from my chest to my lips.
No words seemed right or relevant—
But I found myself echoing the same type of anxious begging prayer—
“Jesus, just get us through this!—
God just pull her life through this darkness—
Lord, please get us through this storm.”
That storm is imprinted on my heart and life forever— both in the form of the heartache I found there, and the gratitude that followed as I watched my child slowly recover to her whole self again. Days later, her body began to breathe on its own. Slowly, the Lord pulled us through those dark storm clouds to a place that seemed a little better and a little brighter.
And that day is just one of many storms that have rocked my world in so many hard ways as I parent a medically fragile child— so many stormy moments. So many days when dark clouds felt as if they would just envelope us whole. So many times when it was hard to see anything but the wind and the rain.
You know, there’s a story In Scripture about a storm too. A time when a boat was rocking amidst the wind and waves, and a begging question was asked to the Savior.
