Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run is all too familiar with the horrors of anxiety. While non-sufferers may think it’s just stress or excess worry, Mazza knows it is SO much more than that.
At times it can feel like lions thrashing at your skin from the inside out trying to escape, or just sheer terror at the thought of completing everyday tasks. Anxiety is truly an invisible beast that can find a way to infiltrate every aspect of your life.
Mazza brings the true meaning of anxiety to life in a raw Facebook post that has been relatable for so many.
Check it out below:
“Anxiety isn’t obvious. It doesn’t outwardly scream ‘I’m anxious’
It comes out in ways that are confusing to others and confusing to us.
It’s a dull face that’s expressionless
It’s a smile
It’s a frown
It’s anger and spitting rage
It’s the sudden need to be alone.
It’ll cancel plans last minute
It can be short in a conversation
It’ll be a text instead of a phone call
An email instead of a face to face
It’s brushing people off for no reason because you just need to get away.
Needing someone to come with you to do something simple like ordering food.It’s constant apologies, ‘I’m sorry I’m rambling’, ‘I’m sorry I’m just so tired’, ‘I’m sorry I think I had too much coffee… sorry’, I’m so sorry all the time. I’m sorry I’m making an idiot of myself… because that’s how I feel.
It’s not being able to trust your gut because your gut tells you there is always danger.
It’s not being able to trust that someone doesn’t want something more, has a hidden agenda or doesn’t really love you like they say they do.It’s picking at your head
Biting your nails, picking your skin, chewing the inside of your lip or mouth.
Sitting still in the car and turning the engine back on because you’ve convinced yourself you don’t really need to go insideIt’s joking, saying something horrible that hurt you and making a joke out of it because you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
It’s so much more than the burning feeling in our chest.
All we know is that we don’t want to be our anxiety, we try not to be our anxiety, we don’t want IT. We can’t switch off, we can’t just get better or not worry, or just not think about it. It courses through our veins and we want to cut off the supply.
We don’t mean no [sic] harm, we just want to be understood without being a burden. That even through the confusion we want to know that you still think we are worthy of being in your life.”
**This post originally appeared on Laura Mazza’s Facebook page Mum on the Run. Check out more from her here.