Mother-daughter relationships often face challenges during the teenage years. As teen girls strive to develop their own identities, they still deeply desire the support of their parents. This leads to a push-and-pull dynamic where one moment, they crave independence, and the next, they long for comfort and reassurance.
For many moms, navigating this season means adjusting their approach—offering support in new and evolving ways. The care that once worked in childhood may now be ineffective, or even unhelpful. One mother, Elizabeth J. Spencer, recently shared how she learned this firsthand while parenting her anxiety-ridden daughter. In this new stage of motherhood, she sleeps on her teenage daughter’s bedroom floor—not to solve her problems, but simply to be there.
A Mother’s Intuition Leads Her to Stay Close
Like any mother, Elizabeth doesn’t want to see her children suffer—physically or emotionally.
So when she woke up in the middle of the night with a gut feeling that something was wrong, she followed her intuition. She walked down the hall and saw the light on in her daughter’s room.
Inside, she found her daughter crying—overwhelmed by anxiety and unable to sleep, despite knowing how desperately she needed rest.
As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to see your child struggling. But Elizabeth knew that, unlike when her daughter was a little girl, there was no “bandage” or “kiss” that could fix this.
“When they don’t have friends, we can’t set up playdates for them. When they don’t understand their homework, we usually don’t understand it enough to help them, either,” she wrote in her blog on InspireMore.
“When someone breaks their heart, we can’t (and shouldn’t) go try to talk them into loving our baby again. When they don’t get the job, the part, or the spot on the team, we can’t (and shouldn’t) plead their case with the employer, director, or coach.”
In that moment, Elizabeth realized something powerful—her role as a mother wasn’t to solve her daughter’s struggles, but to simply be present.
And so, she laid down on the floor and stayed there.
Not to fix. Not to lecture. Not to take away the anxiety.
Just to be near her child in her time of need.
Parenting a Teen with Anxiety: Learning to Let Go, While Still Being There
Elizabeth’s approach reflects the natural shifts that happen as children grow.
In his book, Boundaries With Teens, author John Townsend discusses how parental roles evolve over time. Healthy parenting means recognizing when to step back and allow children to navigate their struggles while still offering emotional support.
This isn’t always easy. Parents today are raising teenagers in a world filled with intense academic pressure, social media comparisons, and constant uncertainty.
Many moms and dads struggle to know how much to step in and when to let go. But one thing is clear: supporting a teen with anxiety doesn’t mean swooping in to fix everything.
Instead, parents can help their teens by:
✔ Encouraging positive coping strategies
✔ Teaching self-care habits (exercise, healthy eating, limiting caffeine, spending time outside)
✔ Modeling calm and healthy responses to stress
✔ Practicing grounding techniques (such as deep breathing exercises)
✔ Offering presence rather than pressure
And sometimes, when none of that seems to work—when their child is anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted—being near them is enough.
For Elizabeth, that meant sleeping on the floor of her daughter’s bedroom. For another parent, it may look different. But the heart behind it remains the same: being there, in whatever way their child needs.
