Inspirational

Why I Sleep on My Teenage Daughter’s Bedroom Floor

Mother Sleeps on Teenage Daughter's Bedroom Floor

Mother-daughter relationships can often be strained in the teen years, and conflict is often seen as normal. Teen girls are striving to develop their own identities, yet they still desire to have the support of their parents. Thus, moms often feel their teenage daughters vacillate between pushing them away and pulling them close.

Along the same lines, teens don’t need the same level of support, or at least the same kind, and sometimes supporting teen daughters in the same way they would have been supported in their young childhood can be unhelpful or even unhealthy. One mother wrote about this as she navigated caring for her anxiety-ridden daughter. This mother sleeps on teenage daughter’s bedroom floor in this new stage of motherhood, aware that being there for her daughter looks new in these teenage years.

Why This Mother Sleeps on Teenage Daughter’s Bedroom Floor

Mother, Elizabeth J. Spencer, like any other mother does not want her children to be in pain, either physically or emotionally. So, as she wrote in a blog on InspireMore, when she woke up one night with a mother’s intuition and noticed her daughter’s light on, she went to the rescue.

She wrote that she found her daughter crying because she could not sleep when she knew she desperately needed to sleep. According to the mom, her daughter was mature and knowledgeable enough to know the tricks to help an anxiety-ridden mind rest, but none had worked for her this time.

In a moment like this, any mom’s heart would break to see their child in distress, but this mom knew a “bandage” and “a kiss” couldn’t fix this problem like it might’ve when her daughter was a little girl.

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In Elizabeth’s blog on InspireMore, she wrote, “When they don’t have friends, we can’t set up play dates for them. When they don’t understand their homework, we usually don’t understand it enough to help them, either.”

Elizabeth, this mother sleeps on teenage daughter’s bedroom floor, knows it’s good for her daughter to have independence as her daughter navigates her struggles. She says, “When someone breaks their heart, we can’t (and shouldn’t) go try to talk them into loving our baby again. When they don’t get the job or the part or the spot on the team, we can’t (and shouldn’t) plead their case with the employer or director or coach.”

These kinds of shifts reflect shifts that go in the right direction of how boundaries evolve with children as they grow. John Townsend discusses these new kinds of dynamics and how to navigate them in his book, Boundaries With Teens

Elizabeth says, “We aren’t solving their problems…We’re waiting and ready to be there: on the phone, in the stands, in the car. And sometimes…” this mother sleeps on teenage daughter’s bedroom floor.

It’s not easy for parents to make this healthy adjustment, however, especially considering the level of anxiety that teens experience today. Elizabeth knows this, and encourages parents to avoid shame when their children experience anxiety. She offers advice on her blog about this topic, as well.

As Elizabeth demonstrates, parenting a teenage with anxiety doesn’t means swooping in to fix it. Teens can most benefit from parents who encourage their teens to cope with it in positive ways and to practice ongoing self-care. Self-care includes getting exercise, eating healthy, drinking enough water, limiting caffeine and sugar, spending time outside and in nature, sleep, and so on. It can also include grounding techniques, such as the classic 4-count breathing.

But when these don’t work for teens, Elizabeth demonstrated a mother sleeps on teenage daughter’s bedroom floor, or something of the kind. For some spiritual input, parents might want to share helpful verses with their teens.

Verses About Anxiety

“say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” Isaiah 35:4

“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God [a] ; believe also in me.” John 14:1

 

Are you a mother of a teenager? Share what you’ve done to care for your teen in this new stage of life!

Jessica Goldsmith
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Jessica Goldsmith is a writer and editor of Christian resource, news, and information.

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