Whether they admit it or not, most women when they were 12-year-old girls, began to dream about that special guy for them. Growing up I had such Hollywood examples as Patrick Swayze in “Dirty Dancing.” Talk about heartthrob! I definitely wanted a guy who could do the Mambo and the Cha-cha. Who knew I’d marry a man who couldn’t stand to even sorta slow dance?!
When I envisioned the man I would marry, I knew he’d need to have lots of money to provide for me, preferably a doctor, lawyer, or Wall Street businessman. I figured he’d have a degree, a sports car, and no problem handing me the keys to a big house with a white picket fence. I didn’t realize that at 40-years-old I’d look at the man beside me and see a pick-up driving, vagabond, high-school graduate.
I grew up in the amazing fashion trends of the eighties so I definitely knew I’d snag a guy like Blane from “Pretty in Pink”; an Andrew McCarthy, snazzy, yet casual, suit-wearing sweetheart, complete with crooked shades and a matching smirk. Well, I got the smirk all right, but I spent some days wondering if I hid my husband’s favorite T-shirt with the holes in it, if he’d notice.
As a young girl, and even later as a young woman, there were certain traits, qualities, and attributes that I was sure I required in a spouse. As a non-married person, I felt qualified on what constituted a good marriage partner. I had specific key points such as looks, finances, housing, and stuff like that. You know, the things that would make you happy in life. Of course, he had to treat me well, open doors, and buy me flowers. He needed to like long walks on the beach and share my hobbies and interests. Boy, was I in for a shocker.
If I were to be completely honest with the man I married I’d have to tell him that he doesn’t have a checkmark beside most of the things on my Dream Guy list. In fact, he’s nothing like the man I dreamed of marrying! Nothing!