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Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."

To the Christians Who Are Done With Church

"The church is far from perfect. Life is complex. There are growing options. And the post-modern mind distrusts most things organized or institutional. But as trendy as the idea of writing off the church may be, it’s a mistake."

My Husband Is Doing It Again!

"Well, he did it again. New place, same story. It’s not that I thought a new neighborhood would change his behavior, but I didn’t expect him to fall so easily into prior patterns."

When People Hurt You: A Biblical Perspective on Pain and Healing

People hurt when they are hurting. We know this, but when that pain is directed at us, it’s easy to forget.

Our first instinct? Fight back.
Cut deeper, hit harder, and pull out all the stops. Don’t admit where you’re wrong—just focus on where the other person is.

But here’s the truth: Hurtful words and actions often come from a place of deep pain. Instead of recognizing this, we continue the cycle. We absorb someone else’s pain, making it our own. We lash out, passing it along.

And yet, what’s truly hard is accepting the reality that everyone you know will, at some point, fail you.


The Reality of Human Imperfection

It may sound pessimistic, but it’s simply reality:

  • At one point or another, every person you know will hurt you in some way.
  • No one wants to be the cause of someone else’s pain, yet we all end up there—sometimes without even realizing it.
  • Even the people you love most will disappoint you.

It sounds bleak, but it’s true.

The only exception to this reality is Jesus.


Jesus: The One Who Heals, Not Hurts

Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy our souls.
He is the only one who heals our wounds rather than causing unintended pain.
He is the only one who never fails, never leaves, never wounds.

The problem? We lack an eternal perspective.

We see only the here and now, not the forever that Jesus calls us to fix our eyes upon. Instead of reacting with wisdom, we get caught in the moment. Instead of surrendering our pain to Christ, we hold onto it and let it fester.

Yet, God has given us this one life to live for His glory. And though we will stumble, hurt others, and be hurt in return, we can choose how we respond.


Choosing to Break the Cycle

We cannot change the reality of human imperfection.
We cannot prevent every wound, nor avoid every disappointment.

But we can control how we handle our pain.

  • We can grab hold of our offense before it poisons our hearts.
  • We can choose to forgive, even when it’s hard.
  • We can reject bitterness before it takes root.
  • We can respond like Jesus, choosing grace over retaliation.

The closer we get to Him, the clearer we see the truth:

Jesus is the only answer.
He is the only cure for what ails you.
He is the only balm for your pain.
He is the only example worth following.

When we walk in His way, we begin to hurt others less and love others more.


Shifting Our Focus to the Eternal

So often, we place too much value on things that will not last.

Temporary things—possessions, status, relationships—will fade away.
Eternal things—faith, love, obedience—will endure forever.

That’s why Jesus tells us:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven…” – Matthew 6:19-20

If we want to break free from the cycle of hurt and disappointment, we must:

✅ Turn the other cheek.
✅ Pray for those who hurt us.
✅ Walk intentionally so that we do not hurt others in return.

And let’s be honest—it’s not easy.

But Jesus never said following Him would be easy—He said it would be worth it.


Letting Go of Pain by Grabbing Hold of Jesus

If you want to let go of the pain, grab hold of Christ.

✔ Stop focusing on fleeting things—seek eternal things instead.
✔ Stop looking for healing in people—find it in Jesus alone.
✔ Stop carrying the weight on your own—surrender it to Him.

Because here’s the truth: You cannot save yourself.

  • Your family cannot save you.
  • Your friends cannot save you.
  • Your job, money, security—none of it can fix you.

And it’s not fair to expect others to carry the weight of your happiness.

Why? Because they will let you down.

Remember that the next time you lash out. The next time someone disappoints you. The next time you place expectations on another human being that only Jesus can fulfill.

The world tells you that another person is the key to your joy. But that’s just not how we were made.

You can find happiness in people.
You can find companionship in relationships.
But you will only find healing and wholeness in Christ.


Practical Steps to Finding Peace in Christ

If you’re ready to stop seeking healing in the wrong places and start finding it in Jesus, here’s where to start:

1. Spend Time in Prayer Daily.

Talk to God. Be honest about your pain. Surrender it to Him.

2. Spend Time in the Word Daily.

Scripture is your anchor. The more you know it, the more truth you have to combat lies and pain. (This is so important, I’ll repeat it at the end!)

3. Spend Time with Other Believers Regularly.

Community matters. Just don’t place your worth in people—place it in Christ.

4. Spend Time in Silence, Listening for His Wisdom.

Sometimes, we’re too busy talking to hear Him. Be still and listen.

5. Spend Time in the Word Daily. (Yes, this is worth repeating!)

God’s Word will transform you. Read it. Meditate on it. Let it renew your mind.


Final Thought: Only Jesus Can Heal You

I know this might challenge what you’ve been told your whole life.

Maybe you’ve been taught that someone else—your spouse, your family, your friends—is supposed to complete you.

But that’s not how we were designed.

The truth? Only Jesus can complete you.

✔ People will let you down, but Jesus never will.
✔ People will hurt you, but Jesus heals.
✔ People will fail you, but Jesus is always faithful.

If you’re hurting today, let Him be the one to heal you.

That’s enough for now. ❤️

Brie Gowen
Brie Gowenhttp://briegowen.com/
Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."

To the Christians Who Are Done With Church

"The church is far from perfect. Life is complex. There are growing options. And the post-modern mind distrusts most things organized or institutional. But as trendy as the idea of writing off the church may be, it’s a mistake."

My Husband Is Doing It Again!

"Well, he did it again. New place, same story. It’s not that I thought a new neighborhood would change his behavior, but I didn’t expect him to fall so easily into prior patterns."