Exclusive Content:

‘I Cried Last Night as I Asked My Husband if He Was Tired of Me. Because I’m Tired of Me Some Days.’

"Raising babies is hard. But I think the hardest is losing yourself. Life is flying by, and you feel lost in the middle of it."

How I Saved My Marriage With One Question

He asked her just one question every single morning. Two weeks later, he asked the same question, and her eyes welled up with tears...

5 Types of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage (Hint: 4 of Them Have Nothing to Do With Sex)

"Once intimacy begins to wane, it can become hard to get back on track. One of the keys to reconnecting is understanding that intimacy is a multifaceted thing. In fact, there are five different types of intimacy, and only when we keep all five functioning can we have marriages that feel profoundly connected."

Marriages Are Not Meant to Be Endured

Before we moved abroad, we did some marriage counseling. What I mean is, we sat in an old guy’s office for fifteen hours and cried. It was amazing.

He told us our marriage could be a safe-haven on the field. Or not.

He said we could strengthen and encourage each other on the field. Or not.

He said that our marriage could bring peace and stamina and even joy to the mission field. Or not.

He was right.

Some Questions

If you and I were chatting at a local coffee shop and I asked you, “Hey, I’m curious, how would you describe marriage?” In general, what words would you use?

Would you say, “Marriage is…

Hard?

Wonderful?

Good?

&#^$? [that could mean good things or bad things, I suppose]

How do you describe your own marriage? Often, the first word I hear people say is “hard.” And after they say “hard,” they quickly follow up with, “but it’s good.”

Now, think about your relationship with your best friend. How would you describe that relationship?

Would you say, “Our friendship is…

Fun?

Easy?

Intimate?

Hard?

Would you call it “hard, but good”? Honestly, what would you think of someone who spoke of their closest friendship, first and foremost, as hard? Um, weird.

What about your relationship with God? Is it, first and foremost, hard?

Is that really what we’re going for? Is our chief end to endure the hard, with God and our spouses?

On a gut level, I think we know there’s more. There has to be more.

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A Dangerous Idea

“The purpose of marriage is to make us holy.”

“Marriage is hard, but it’s ok, because it makes us holy.”

Jonathan Trotter
Jonathan Trotterhttps://trotters41.com/
Jonathan has lived in Southeast Asia since 2012, where he serves as a pastoral counselor and helps lead an international church. He tweets @trotters41 and blogs at trotters41.com.

‘I Cried Last Night as I Asked My Husband if He Was Tired of Me. Because I’m Tired of Me Some Days.’

"Raising babies is hard. But I think the hardest is losing yourself. Life is flying by, and you feel lost in the middle of it."

How I Saved My Marriage With One Question

He asked her just one question every single morning. Two weeks later, he asked the same question, and her eyes welled up with tears...

5 Types of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage (Hint: 4 of Them Have Nothing to Do With Sex)

"Once intimacy begins to wane, it can become hard to get back on track. One of the keys to reconnecting is understanding that intimacy is a multifaceted thing. In fact, there are five different types of intimacy, and only when we keep all five functioning can we have marriages that feel profoundly connected."