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“My Marriage Is Over. 11 ½ Years—That’s How Long It Lasted. When Told Me She Was Finished, I Felt Utter Shock, Numbness, Anger, Fear…”

"I question my own motives in writing this. Is it sordid? Is it to gain sympathy? Is it to avoid criticism or worse, to benefit from the publicity criticism brings? Lord, I hope not."

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She Died By Suicide Just 9 Days Postpartum. Here’s What Her Husband Wants You to Know

“She Just Needed Some Help”

“In her letter, it was clear she was depressed,” Tyler says. “She felt like a burden. But she was anything but a burden. She just needed some help. I wish she had just waited for me to get home so I could have helped her.”

Cases like Ariana’s—where suicide happens so soon after childbirth—are rare but critically important to talk about. Ariana had overcome PPD before, but that didn’t mean her risk was lower. In fact, it was the opposite.

Tyler Sutton doesn’t just want the world to know what an incredible mother Ariana was—he also wants people to recognize the signs of PPD and postpartum psychosis so that no other family has to endure this pain.


The Importance of Mental Health Treatment During Pregnancy

Many experts stress that continuing antidepressants during pregnancy can be safe and beneficial. Dr. Angela Bianco, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Mount Sinai Health System, explains:

“All of the data we have to counsel patients is very reassuring. We have a decent amount of retrospective data that seem to be associated with excellent pregnancy outcomes.”

Nicole Warren, an associate professor of nursing at Johns Hopkins, adds:

“When people stop taking an SSRI (antidepressant), they may experience worsening symptoms of depression. That, combined with being postpartum, could lead to a crisis situation.”


Signs & Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

In honor of Ariana’s life, here are signs of PPD from the CDC:

  • Crying more often than usual
  • Feelings of anger
  • Withdrawing from loved ones
  • Feeling numb or disconnected from the baby
  • Worrying about harming the baby
  • Feeling guilty about not being a good mom

Risk Factors for PPD

Some women are at higher risk, including those who:

  • Experience stressful life events
  • Have low social support
  • Have a personal or family history of depression
  • Had difficulty getting pregnant
  • Are mothers of multiples (twins, triplets, etc.)
  • Had a preterm birth (before 37 weeks)
  • Experienced pregnancy or birth complications

What You Can Do

The most important thing you can do for a new mom?

Ask, “How are you, really?”

Even if she seems fine, ask. You might save a life.

Tyler Sutton also urges people to start this conversation before birth:

“When newly pregnant women go to their first OB appointment, they should be learning about postpartum depression—the risks and the signs,” he says. “And they should keep having these conversations throughout the pregnancy.”

Ariana’s story is heartbreaking, but it can also be life-saving. If you or someone you love is struggling, please seek help.

Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapsonhttp://www.foreverymom.com
Jenny Rapson is a wife and mom of three from Ohio and the editor of For Every Mom. You can also find her alternately griping and gushing about her kids at her own blog, Mommin' It Up. You can email her at jrapson@outreach.com, or follow her on Twitter.

“My Marriage Is Over. 11 ½ Years—That’s How Long It Lasted. When Told Me She Was Finished, I Felt Utter Shock, Numbness, Anger, Fear…”

"I question my own motives in writing this. Is it sordid? Is it to gain sympathy? Is it to avoid criticism or worse, to benefit from the publicity criticism brings? Lord, I hope not."

15 Powerful Prayers for Healing to Restore Your Body and Spirit

Find comfort and strength through prayer for healing with these 15 powerful prayers to restore your body and spirit during times of illness and hardship.

Sick Teacher Walks into School—When She Sees What Her Old Students Did, She Collapses in Tears

She thought she was coming in for a typical day at school. She couldn't have been more wrong...