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Jill Duggar Says Dad Pitted Siblings Against One Another, Used Kids to Manipulate and Intimidate Her

I am currently reading Jill Duggar Dillard's memoir Counting the Cost about her life growing up in the 19 Kids and Counting Duggar family, and it is both riveting and heartbreaking.

I Slept With My Mother When I Was 16—& I Have Good Reason for Letting My Kids Do the Same

"I’m sure it was the first time we had touched in months, maybe years. Sometimes I think that hand saved my life."

Married 69 Years, Hospitalized Couple Holds Hands Til the Very End

Tommy and Virginia Stevens, both 91, were, in the eyes of their family and friends, a legendary couple. The Tennessee high school sweethearts proved earlier this month that their love truly endured until "death do us part."

The Silent Tragedy Affecting Today’s Children

Could anyone imagine that it is possible to raise a healthy generation in such an unhealthy environment? Of course not! There are no shortcuts to parenting, and we can’t trick human nature. As we see, the outcomes are devastating. Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being and we are making mental illness in kids worse.

How to fix it?

If we want our children to grow into happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and go back to the basics. It is still possible! I know this because hundreds of my clients see positive changes in their kids’ emotional state within weeks (and in some cases, even days) of implementing these recommendations:

1. Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT, not a friend. Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.
  • Provide nutritious food and limits snacks.
  • Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects
  • Have a daily technology-free family dinner.
  • Play one board game a day. (List of family games)
  • Involve your child in one chore a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc)
  • Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom

2. Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures. It trains them the skills needed to overcome greater life’s challenges:

  • Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.

3. Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens:

  • Don’t feel responsible for being your child’s entertainment crew.
  • Do not use technology as a cure for boredom.
  • Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”
  • Help them create a “boredom first aid kit” with activity ideas for “I am bored” times.
 4. Be emotionally available to connect with kids and teach them self-regulation and social skills:
  • Turn off your phones until kids are in bed to avoid digital distraction.
  • Become your child’s emotional coach. Teach them to recognize and deal with frustration and anger.
  • Teach greeting, turn taking, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills,
  • Connect emotionally – Smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, or crawl with your child.

We must make changes in our kids’ lives before this entire generation of children end up having to deal with mental illness in kids will be medicated! It is not too late yet, but soon it will be… -Victoria Prooday

**This story was written by Victoria Prooday, a registered Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist, founder and clinical director of a multidisciplinary clinic for children and parents. It originally appeared on her website

Read more from Victoria here: 

Why are our children so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?

Kids Work Ethic Crisis: Reasons & Solutions

When Children Are Disorganized: Reasons & Solutions

Be sure to SHARE her amazing parenting advice with the parents you know on Facebook!

Jill Duggar Says Dad Pitted Siblings Against One Another, Used Kids to Manipulate and Intimidate Her

I am currently reading Jill Duggar Dillard's memoir Counting the Cost about her life growing up in the 19 Kids and Counting Duggar family, and it is both riveting and heartbreaking.

I Slept With My Mother When I Was 16—& I Have Good Reason for Letting My Kids Do the Same

"I’m sure it was the first time we had touched in months, maybe years. Sometimes I think that hand saved my life."

Married 69 Years, Hospitalized Couple Holds Hands Til the Very End

Tommy and Virginia Stevens, both 91, were, in the eyes of their family and friends, a legendary couple. The Tennessee high school sweethearts proved earlier this month that their love truly endured until "death do us part."