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Tinderitis. Yes, It’s a Thing. How “Swiping Right” Actually Affects Your Brain.

My friend tells me that guys seem to fall off the face of the earth after a nice date and a few texts. She can never figure out where she went wrong.

Another girl I know tells me she experiences the same thing and describes it as feeling like the “Almost Girl.”

Every time she meets a new guy on Tinder or reconnects with an ex, it seems to be going well but then he either swipes right on someone else, finds a cute girl in his DMs, or gets a text from his ex and seems to vanish without warning…again. She feels like she’s almost pretty enough (until someone prettier steals his attention), almost interesting enough (until someone more interesting swoops in), or almost date-able enough (until someone more date-able pops up on his newsfeed). And just like that, she was almost enough but…not quite.

And it’s not just girls feeling this way. My own brothers have shared with me similar frustrations they have with girls that they meet.

There seems to be a lot of mixed signals, confusion, heartbreak and many good things ending with ambiguity and silence instead of with closure and honesty. There’s a growing fear of commitment as Millennials swipe left and right through the virtual catalog of possible mates the Internet offers. And when one after another seem to crumble without warning, far too many are left asking: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I don’t know the specifics of your love life, but I do think that the digital dating trend has become so convenient that real dating and true commitment are contaminated by it.

Yes, You Can Meet That Someone Online

Before you get angry and defensive, let me just clarify that I’m not saying you can’t meet someone online. Heck, my husband and I kind of met online. We had mutual friends and followed each other on Instagram (it was not nearly as popular as it is now, I didn’t even have my blog then!) before we had ever met in person. When we had to date long distance, most of our communication was on the phone and via texting. So hey, I’m not saying meeting someone online or using technology when dating long distance can’t work out.

What I am saying is that always having a pocketful of other potentially ‘better’ options (or so goes the lie we believe) at the touch of a button makes commitment incredibly hard on a person. The excitement that comes when someone new finds you attractive makes it much harder to stay focused on the person you just had coffee with.

It’s as if our generation is becoming less and less equipped to meet a decent, quality human being, accept their flaws or mistakes, and have a conversation about the hard stuff because it’s almost becoming unnecessary. One can always swipe right and find someone else if any ounce of doubt crosses his or her mind. The options are virtually endless.

Again, I know not EVERYONE does this—at least not intentionally—but it’s like the world is obsessed chasing butterflies. I mean, who doesn’t like the thrill and excitement of someone finding us attractive (and virtually telling us by swiping right), a first date, a first kiss, etc.? But the problem with chasing butterflies is that they fly away.

Jordan Lee
Jordan Leehttp://thesoulscripts.com/
Jordan Lee is the creative voice behind the blog, The SoulScripts. She is passionate about seeing women set free by the love of Christ and works to bring them to that through sharing real, raw, and relatable stories and anecdotes with a creative spin. She launched her site in 2015 on a simple premise — to get real, to sort through the lies women believe, and to encourage readers in Truth while offering touches of comic relief along the way. She especially loves to keep it real by speaking openly into real-life struggles and offer encouragement through storytelling because she believes that our stories are the most unifying thing we have. The messy, broken, and imperfect parts of life are the threads that weave us together, reminding us that we are truly not alone. She understands the reality that we all have imperfections, brokenness, and pieces of our lives we’d rather not show. She recently published her first book, WholeheARTed: A Coloring Book Devotional, released this past spring. It is available for purchase via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her with a coffee in hand as she dives into the Word, jogging through town, and traveling the globe with her husband. You can get to know her more on Facebook, Twitter,or Instagram.

‘I Am 1 of 7 Kids in My Birth Family. I Was the ONLY Child Put Up for Adoption.’: Daughter’s Self-Love Journey Seals Her...

"I am 1 of 7 children. I am smack-dab in the middle of them. I was the only child placed for adoption. What is wrong with me?"

‘When You Get Home to Your Spouse, Put a Smile On. It Doesn’t Matter How Crummy Your Day Went’: Husband Reminds Us Our Family...

"For 30 seconds, really show you’re elated to see them. Make them feel like you were looking forward to getting back home. Your attitude sets the tone for the rest of the evening within 15 seconds of walking in the door."

32 Creative Proposal Ideas to Make Your Engagement Unforgettable

Discover 32 unique and creative proposal ideas to ensure your engagement moment is as special as your love story. From breathtaking adventures to intimate home proposals, find the perfect way to pop the question and start your journey together.