He was a D1 college football player. I was in a sorority. Classic, right?
We met during our time at a Big10 university, arguably one of the bigger party schools in the nation. We certainly weren’t in Christian bubbles, and we were faced with different messages about sex and dating and hookups ALL THE TIME.
And honestly, our personal decision to save sex for marriage? WOW. It. was. HARD.
And at times, we felt like the odd ones out. Not the better ones, not the more religious or righteous ones, just the odd ones out.
Teammates teased him for still being a virgin when he graduated. He took it well, trusting it’d be worthwhile & knowing it was all in good humor. I sometimes wondered if there was any point to it, feeling like I was missing out on something everyone else seemed to think was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Did we make it? Yeah. But not without struggling–not without some really hard and honest conversations over the course of the 3 years before we said our vows.
To be honest, there were times I turned *waiting til marriage* into such an idol, as if my dedication to it turned into the measure of my righteousness or something.
It’s a hard and messy thing, really.
If anyone tells you differently, they’re lying.
So, if you’re struggling in one way or another in this department, you’re NOT alone.
After a year and a half of marriage, we figured it was time we share our story.
Because I don’t know where you are–if you’ve waited or can’t stand the idea of waiting. If you wanted to wait but feel like you messed up or if you and your man are just reeeaallly struggling. But I do know there is grace, that God is not a God of second chances but of new beginnings, that it CAN be done if you have real tangible tools and not just good intentions, and that this crazy beautiful but sometimes brutally difficult design God has is so totally worth it.
So, here’s what we did: We made a brutally honest, incredibly raw, but intentionally helpful video explaining all that we did during our dating years so that didn’t just have to endure dating, but could actually enjoy it–even without sex.
We trust that it’ll help you, wherever you are right now. Click the video below to watch.