“I Want Her to Be Kind, But I Won’t Raise a Doormat”: Fired Up Mom Says Bullied 6-Yr-Old Daughter Needs a Lesson in ‘Self-Worth’

time to walk

“I never would have dreamed that my 6-year-old daughter would have shed this many tears already regarding “friends.”

“No, you can’t play with us.”

“Why do you wear dresses all the time?”

“I don’t like that bow in your hair.”

“You’re too little.”

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These are all things my young daughter has already had spewed at her.

So, just like my mother taught me, I tell her to kill them with kindness. As a mama bear, I remind myself that they’re just kids, after all, still learning their own ways of life.

But after a particular pair of older girls (who frankly, know better) continued to be rude and exclude my daughter, I had to have a difficult talk with her.

“Honey,” I said. “Why do you want to be friends with these girls? Do they make you feel happy or sad?”

She played with one of her raggedy braids and then wiped her tears. “Sad,” she said.

“Look,” I said. “There comes a time when you’ll have to decide whether these friends are worthy of you. Yes, you can still be kind, but that doesn’t mean you should spend your time with them if they continue to make you feel bad.”

The truth is that she just wants to fit in. She wants to feel accepted. She wants friends. But at the young age of six, she’s still learning what true friendship feels like. Yes, I want my daughter to always be kind.

But I do not want to raise a doormat.

There’s only so much a person can handle until they’re broken down completely.

Going high when others go low is tough. So, when you consistently do that and it doesn’t work, it’s time to walk away.

I hope to teach my daughter to treat all people with kindness, even when they don’t treat her the same.
But it sure as hell doesn’t mean that she has to stick around. Because one of the most important lessons I can teach her is self-worth and when it’s time to walk away.”

**This post was written by Angela Anagnost-Repke and originally appeared on her Facebook page. See more of Angela’s insightful musings on marriage and motherhood here

Kelsey Straeter
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Kelsey is an editor at Outreach. She’s passionate about fear fighting, freedom writing, and the pursuit of excellence in the name of crucifying perfectionism. Glitter is her favorite color, 2nd only to pink, and 3rd only to pink glitter.