Relationships

What Married Couples Are Missing About the ‘Don’t Go to Bed Angry’ Bible Verse

angry

“BE ANGRY AND DO NOT SIN; DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER, AND GIVE NO OPPORTUNITY TO THE DEVIL.” (EPHESIANS 4:25-27)

Ephesians 4:25-27 doesn’t read “argue the night away and don’t go to bed until your husband admits that he was wrong and you were right.” It’s not referring to the state of our rightness, it’s referring to the condition of our hearts. It’s not implying that we can’t go to bed without forcing our husbands into agreeing with us. Most of the time it’s about letting go.

When I choose to let go of the argument, I often realize that I had blown the whole thing out of proportion anyways. Not everything has to be solved instantly. And when Kyle and I decide to drop something for the day, sleep on it, and come back to it the next day, we are able to more rationally address the subject.

Don’t go to bed angry, but you don’t have to cry and fight for hours on end either.

Let it go for [a] day, pray about it, and get a good night’s sleep. Come back to the issue the next day, and chances are, you’ll have a much better outcome than you would if you had kept your husband up all night arguing.

Arguments happen in marriages — including super-healthy ones. Invite God into the argument, too, and see what He has to say. There are many ways to resolve disagreements and fights. The first step is remembering to love well. And the second step is knowing how to stand up for yourself. Beyond that, work together to follow what God is saying.

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Tayler Beede
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Tayler Beede is a Christian wife, student, and brain tumor survivor. She writes with her mom (is that awesome or what?) about what happens when romance meets reality at the marriage blog Nitty Gritty Love. You can find more Nitty Gritty Love on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

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