And honestly, that day had looked so much different than what I had dreamt of time and time again as I imagined celebrating my son’s first real Christmas.
When we finally came home for the night, it was completely dark. Sutton’s toys were piled up, untouched, in the corner. He didn’t get to open or play with anything that day and he was passed out by the time we got home.
Our house was a disaster because I had rushed to cook and bake everything for each house and didn’t have time to clean before we left.
We also spent an inordinate amount of money on 19 kids, 10 siblings and 3 White Elephant parties.
We were completely exhausted, frazzled and frustrated.
It was in that moment when we both realized that, although we both desperately love our families, we are our own family now. We have to set healthy boundaries in order to invest and nourish this little family we have created — even during the holidays.
Jesse and I have always clung to this verse in our marriage, but somehow forgot to implement it into the holiday season: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24
We are own family now.
And while it is absolutely crucial for me to teach Sutton that Christmas is about Jesus and loving and serving others, I also don’t want to create strife or forfeit our family principles to people-please or to simply fulfill society’s standard of what Christmas is supposed to look like.
We love being generous and we love giving gifts. It is one of our favorite things to do as a family. I love making all of the holiday food (like our famous cranberry jalapeno dip!)
We also absolutely adore spending time with our families and we look forward to a time of relaxation with them every single year.
But, you guys, when we spread ourselves so thin, neither we nor our families, actually get that relaxation. We are so busy and exhausted that they actually get very little of our energy or attention.
Every family is different and every family has unique boundaries. In our family, we personally still do our best to see everyone because we really do love it.