Basically, ALL of us need a friend like Brittany Ogden in our life.
While she describes herself as a “basic millennial from Texas,” I think her recent viral post attests to the fact that this ridiculously entertaining 22-year-old has fallen FAR off the ‘basic’ train.
In a post shared earlier this week, Brittany tells the hysterical tale of a ‘stranger danger’ alert gone terribly awry—and it’s pretty much the funniest thing you’ll read all day. After a loud “BOOM” leaves her bolting out of the bathroom mid-pee, Brittany goes on a frantic pant-less, bra-less pursuit for help that leaves her talking to the police in her undies and burying her head in embarrassment over the dangerous life-threatening “intruder” they discover. Read her post in full below, and relive the hilariously-narrated experience for yourself:
“So I’m sitting on the toilet peeing this morning, right…. and I hear a loud boom in my house. Rowdy starts barking and going crazy… It sounds like it’s coming from the front door like either a window or a door was busted.. so mid pee.. I jump up, throw my undies on and grab the gun in my nightstand…. run to my living room and see no one. I immediately call Brian (cause I can overreact sometimes) and he tells me to go through the house and check it out with him on the phone & with the gun. I throw open our bedroom doors, check all the windows… nothing. So I decide to check my hall bathroom. It doesn’t have windows but just in case. I push on the door and I can’t open it. Something pushes back. I start freaking out screaming ‘I have a gun!!’… I set the alarm off, grab rowdy and leave my house! I am on the phone with Brian this whole time. He gets off the phone with me because the security system was calling him. I call my mom and tell her someone is in my house. Drive to the dollar store up the street. I see the police officer drive into the subdivision & shortly after that the police call me and ask me to come to the house… I walk up (no pants) ask to put pants on… police officer says he’s gonna check the house out. I sit in my car and wait until he comes out all to tell me that it was a curtain rod. A freaking curtain rod. I ran out of my new house in my new neighborhood in my underwear, set off the alarm & called the police…. literally no bra, no shoes, no pants.. a dog in one arm and a gun in the other… making a mad dash across my yard to get to my car… all because of a curtain rod. I’m done. Stick a fork in me.”

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Needless to say, this girl needs to be my new BFF for obvious reasons. At 107,000 shares and counting, Brittany has become one Internet sensation that we’re not soon to forget.
If she left you laughing ’til you cried too, keep the momentum going and SHARE her hysterical story with your friends on Facebook!